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Wing Chun: B | Grade It Now!
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Must Find Toes

Ozomatli's peppy "Little Boxes" takes us to the grow house. Andy enters as Sanjay spritzes the plants. Andy's brought lunch, and there's some nattering back and forth about which guy isn't supposed to eat beef, and which isn't supposed to have cheeseburgers. They are joined in the kitchen by Conrad and Doug, the latter of whom has what I think is a rottweiler in his arms. He says that he found her on the street; she doesn't have a collar or tags, just an ugly gold choker. The consensus seems to be that she probably belonged to the Armenians, but they can't really get too far into it because Andy slops some special sauce on his toes, and the dog fucking attacks him. Everyone starts panicking -- Conrad picks up a two-by-four to try to knock the dog off Andy's foot, I guess -- but Doug manages to hunt up a vague memory of how to stop a dog attack, and he tells Sanjay to stick his finger up the dog's ass to make her open her jaw. Sanjay tells Doug to stick his own finger up the dog's butt. Andy begs someone to do it, and Sanjay licks his finger and rises to the occasion. When the dust settles, Sanjay's got a stinkfinger, and Andy's down two toes.

Nancy's working on her computer in the great room when she's pulled up short, breathing, "Judah." But no, it's just Shane, who's apparently bathed in Judah's cologne for his big debate. Nancy, enjoying the smell, hugs him, and advises him to maybe use less next time. Silas enters, complaining about the stench, and asks if Shane's debate strategy is to stink out his opponents. Shane toddles off to get ready, and Nancy tells Silas she needs to talk to him about his SAT scores; apparently, they are ass. Silas tries to plead abortion-related stress, but Nancy tells him he took the SATs weeks before all that fetal business. Nancy's spoken to Silas's guidance counselor, and Silas can take the test again in eight weeks. Silas flatly refuses to repeat the SATs, pointedly telling Nancy that, from what he can tell, you don't need a college degree to run a business. Before they can get into it, though, Nancy gets a frantic call from Doug -- something about toes and the hospital is all she can make out. She asks Silas to take Shane to his debate, and Silas agrees, stipulating that Nancy let him take her car, lest Shane stink up his. Surely it's better than a pine air freshener, no?

Hospital. Andy's in bed, his injured foot bandaged and elevated. Nancy hurries in, asking Conrad how Andy's doing, and Conrad tells her much better since they hooked him up to morphine. He gives her the short version of how this happened, and then the doctor (randomly played by Dave Thomas -- the SCTV one, not the one from Wendy's) enters. As Andy blissfully dials up his morphine drip, Nancy asks his prognosis. Since Andy isn't a dancer, professional athlete, or foot model, he'll be fine. He mentions that if they'd brought in Andy's toes, they could have reattached them. "Must find toes," mutters Andy through his morphine haze. Nancy asks where the toes are, and Conrad says that the dog ate them. Nancy asks when he can leave and, upon learning that Andy has no insurance, Dave Thomas says he's cool to leave right now. He kindly doesn't use the hospital bed's ejector seat to get rid of him.

Now that Andy's squared away, Conrad takes off, but Nancy follows, still trying to smooth over the effects of their summit with Peter. Nancy thought that if Conrad could meet Peter, he would realize that Peter isn't a threat. Conrad, still not ready to forgive and forget, says that he has to go back to the house and "clean up some fucking toe blood." Must be Thursday!

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