Pinwheels and Whirligigs

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
No Country For Newmans

Nancy offers to buy Shane a pinwheel or whirligig, offered by quite a case -- "It spins! It whirls! It's a hee-haw, fire-cracking whirligig!" -- but he's into the real thing now. Next up is the 21st Annual Butter Sculpture Contest, first price of which is a luxury motor home. Movement and isolation, a place to sleep, a rollercoaster, a home that moves, Nancy's perfect solution. They leave Doug outside with the baby and check out just how luxurious it is, and start dreaming, which is when things usually go wrong.

Since it's Parenting Day, Nancy takes Shane and leaves her infant with Doug while Andy and Silas head off to win the contest. Doug tries to boast about his parenting skills, but of course that doesn't go great, and Nancy, well. Here's what Nancy knows about Stevie: "There's a full bottle of formula in the stroller. He likes bird... Sounds. No solid food, obviously. No sharp, pointy objects." Aaaand that's what Nancy knows about Stevie. Doug says he's good with babies -- "They see me as a kindred spirit/taller version of themselves" -- and then has a nice long talk with the baby in the smoking tent, next to an old sleeping man. Thinking about Doug as a basically helpless constantly masturbating infant goes a long way toward making him acceptable.

"I'm Ted Wilson now. Very responsible. I could be a carny. Driving from city to city, handing out prizes. I once dressed up like the Muffin Man for Halloween. True story. Handed out muffins to all the neighborhood kids. I don't even like muffins! How do you say muffin in Mexican? Oh right, you can't talk still. How about this, Cheech? How about we ditch this den of creepy sadness, and go have some real fun?" Stevie's WTF look has not changed, throughout.

Nancy and Shane play some kind of ball-tossing game, and talk eventually turns to how much fun it is to shoot people. Eventually Nancy sort of wigs out and yells at him about how shooting isn't cool, violence isn't cool, go to the contemplation corner, and finally he's like, "Are you mad at me?" It takes her awhile of fumbling around in the dark to find the words, but she's not mad. She's scared that he's becoming something, mobile and isolated.

"Like you?" Nancy's skin goes cold, because that's not the point, and the more he tries to tell her it's okay, there the same, she really does get mad for a sec. "Don't try to tell me what I am, all right? I know what I am, I've been what I am a lot longer than you've been what you... Maybe are." And even if Shane is "like" his mom, he's still a boy. He's just a kid, yeah, but he's also privy to whatever weaknesses of his frail sex, which means he can't possibly work the world in any way she can teach him: "Smart -- so smart -- but a little lost." Everywhere you look, Teabagger posters and flags.

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