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Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: A | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Pittsburgh

When Nancy gets to her car, she finds a note on the windshield. "JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU WERE COMING. WE BOTH KNOW HOW YOU [camera scrolls down] LIE." Yeah, I think we could have guessed how that was going to end, even without the suspense. Nancy, looking distressed, gets in the car.

Party. Kat and Shane dance on on the patio. Gretchen, all pissed, comes up to Andy and orders, "Either you control your woman, or I will." Andy obligingly cuts in. Gretchen pulls Shane aside and demands to know if she's his girlfriend or not. Elsewhere, Kat says she "liberated" a case of Cactus Cooler for their trip. Not even the promise that it tastes like baby aspirin can entice him to go with her, though. Next time, she should try Tahitian Treat.

Grow house. Nancy enters to find that all the plants and much of the equipment has been cleared out. She's opening a can of Diet Coke when she hears the door; she goes to the rack and grabs a pair of scissors, but it's just Conrad. Laughing with relief, Nancy says she thought he was Peter, adding that he left a note on her car to try to scare her. "Is it working?" asks Conrad. "Fuck yes!" says Nancy, laughing uncomfortably. After a moment, she adds, "You're a good kisser," and looks at Conrad wistfully. Conrad almost smiles. Aw.

Party. Kat tries one more time to get Andy to run away with her, but no dice. She asks for his van keys. Andy, affronted, says that he isn't going to give her his van, but when she points out that she'll just steal it anyway, he figures it's a fair enough proposal, and hands them over. Kat leaps on Andy for one final face-sucking kiss, and then she's gone. Or, rather, "gone." These ones never leave that easily.

Dean and Doug find each other at the punch bowl and glare each other down. Dean: "Wife fucker." Doug: "Career wrecker." Dean takes a swipe at Doug, who complains, "You punched my neck!" Dean says that Doug is "freakishly tall." Doug: "I'm also freakishly long, so imagine how much of me was in your wife." There's a beat, but not a long one, and then, as Celia watches, pulling on her flask, Dean and Doug are rolling around on the floor in the one and only male/male wrestling match I've ever seen on TV that's completely devoid of homoeroticism.

A hectic Silas enters and finds Shane. He admits, under questioning, that he missed Shane's speech. "You're an asshole," pouts Shane. Silas asks where Nancy is. Shane tells her he doesn't know, and that she skipped out of the ceremony. Ruffling Shane's hair, Silas sighs, "Some fucking family you got stuck with, huh?" Indeed, it's a sad day when the most responsible Botwin is ANDY.

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