Andy's at boot camp, climbing the rope wall and annoying the piss out of Private Rodriguez with his liberal views on the war and the U.S. as a fat, wasteful country full of religious hypocrites. Hey! That's your fat, wasteful country full of hypocrites, right or wrong, Botwin! Rodriguez counters that America is the coolest, strongest and best nation there is. The coolest? Not if my recent trip to the New York State Fair is any indication. The two of them end up getting their exhausted asses called down from the ropes at the behest of the commanding officer and our old friend R. Lee Jowly, the drill instructor. They admonish Andy for lipping off, natch, and then tell the both of them to report to the C.O.'s office in nine minutes. Oooh! Maybe one of them got tapped to be the new Attorney General!
After hours at the Agrestic City Council, Doug and a couple other council slackers (who appear to be the only other council members besides Celia) are playing with Modine's scale model, particularly the light-up church. Celia enters and tries to get Doug the interloper to leave, but the rest of the council seem eager to hear his opinion on the Majestic deal. Doug's take is that with a river of crap and noplace to put it, Majestic is kind of at Agrestic's mercy here, and if they play it right, this "shit highway" could be Agrestic's road to riches. Which, admittedly, sounds a lot sexier than Celia's plan to hire an outside accountant to explain things to them. Even with all the shit talk.
At the office of Sullivan Groff (his door identifies him as the president of the Majestic development), Nancy is interviewing for a job as executive assistant. Modine is, of course, going over her fakey fake-fake résumé, which includes a stint as associate editor at the Oxford University Press. Modine, naturally, asks her what it's like in New York and lets her dig her own hole with an answer. Of course, he doesn't so much care that she's lying since she's game for his incredibly creepy sexual innuendos, like smelling her hair and telling her she'd look great rolling out of bed in the morning. He tells her if she gets the job, he'll be paying for the right to say stuff like that, and can I pay a bunch of Armenians to off him right now and save us some time? I'm surprised they didn't just name him And You Thought Peter Was Bad. He says he likes Nancy, as she's an "operator." "You have no idea, dude" flashes across the screen in big red letters. Modine says his job is to create and sell "values-based communities," which essentially boils down to him acting like a folksy, smarmy freak while wearing a crucifix on his lapel. Crucifix, eh? Ain't that a little papist for the suburbs? In the same breath as he tells Nancy she'll have to have "a kind word for everyone," he bitches about his last assistant fucking the construction crew and putting tapes of it on the internet. "I don't do porn anymore," deadpans Nancy, "I found it very tiring." It turns out, Nancy will come in handy for Modine's next task at hand: buying
bribes gifts for the Agrestic city council. With one eye out the window (she thinks she sees Agent Fundas riding around), Nancy says she can do that. Modine pins a crucifix to her lapel while she's scanning the parking lot, which comes across as yet another instance of Nancy letting a man get inappropriate with her so she can get what she wants. I can't imagine this is going anywhere good, but we'll see.