So it's a Ponzi scheme? No, it's a pyramid scheme, because she's still using the multilevel approach? Either way, the Madoff parallel is obvious, because of the emphasis on plastic and the fact that whoever is at the bottom of the pyramid is not going to have any money either. So it's like both. Subprimes. And the interesting thing is that this model is not in any way different from the actual You're Pretty model, or from dealing drugs. It just takes the best parts of both and leverages the whole thing on credit. I hope it really comes down on top of everybody, that would be amazing.

Andy's excited to be at the clinic dealing with a "good old-fashioned STD scare," which lacks both screams and poop, and is in his wheelhouse, because I don't know if I mentioned this but he's had quite a ride over the years, sexually speaking. He has sexual experience, I don't know if that's been made clear. We should probably make a few identical jokes that add nothing to the story or the character, just so the sheer repetition becomes in itself hilarious. Nancy, meanwhile, is like, "Awesome. Because from where I'm sitting, I'm sitting in the LGBT clinic to see if my fourteen-year-old has a venereal disease." The way she manages to sneer each noun in a different way is impressive.

They have a whole battle of wills with Shane about how sex isn't dirty, so he shouldn't feel weird about it, but Nancy's point is that it doesn't matter how healthy sex is if you're going to get diseases, so it's better to abstain if you can't keep your shit clean, and Andy says that it's good to get back on the horse, just not bareback. Meanwhile, Shane's like, "I just had a Q-Tip. In my dickhole." He's able to say this word with a very funny, appealing sort of horror, and Andy nods sagely -- "Cotton-Eyed Joe. We've all been there" -- because guess why. He starts telling some retarded story that's not even worth it, and Nancy starts to go off on him about how the Uncle Andy Fractured Fairytales aren't even that interesting anymore because nobody's trying, and how Shane needs a parent, not a buddy. I would start with one friend who's not a creepy skank. Or Celia Hodes.

Before anybody can call Nancy on her inability to even parent, much less be anybody's friend, the doctor comes in, and it's gender dysphoria incarnate Brother Selma saying that Shane's got candida, and says the word "penis," and I don't know what happened after that because Brother Selma talking to me about rubbing my penis is one of those things. Andy and Nancy argue, Shane reminds them he needs neither a parent nor a buddy right now, just a pharmacist, and they separately think about what fuckups they are.