Previously on Weeds: Jacob was astoundingly wonderful in covering for me the last two weeks, and I give him many heart-hugs of gratitude. Also, in addition to Nancy being utterly up shit's creek once again, Andy got out of military service because a dog ate his toes, and Isabelle tried to keep her Huskaroos money away from her mom.
Nancy's been asleep for twenty-two hours since her impromptu swim/primal scream session, and the family is gathered around the dinner table as she groggily ambles downstairs. She tells Lupita that she can't afford to pay her anymore, and when Lupita tries to use her "I'll tell the cops" trump card, Nancy tells her that the big, scary men with guns who she owes money to will probably try to kill Lupita if she does tell. Andy suggests maybe keeping talk of scary, killer drug dealers away from the twelve-year-olds at the table, but Nancy's on an honesty kick, mostly because they all need to figure out ways to make money and make it fast. Andy suggests a poker tournament, which isn't funny (but is consistent with Andy's genes, apparently), and Silas says he can crack safes, which is even less funny. Shane has a stock portfolio worth $2,600, which Nancy tells him to cash in, penalty fee or no. I'm not sure I'm digging Shane's transition from weird little Strange Botwin to this mop-topped mopey kid who's just sad all the time. No fun!
Celia's meeting with her divorce attorney, played by Carrie Fisher. This is the second time I've had to recap Carrie Fisher this summer, and I continue to be unable to look past that hideous face-lift. She looks like Doctor Doom. Carrie advises Celia that her best financial asset, at this juncture, is actually Isabelle and her fat (ahem) Huskaroos contract, and for this reason, Celia should really be pushing hard for sole custody. After striking out with a suggestion that Dean may have snuck in a quick fondle at some point and time (not even Celia will go that far), Carrie then takes a fish out of its tank and lets it flop around on her desk for a while before returning it to its tank. This is what they're going to do to Dean: make him think he's done for before allowing him to escape with his life, for which he'll actually be grateful. Damn, when Celia Hodes looks at you like, "Harsh!" that's saying something.