Episode Report Card
Joe R: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
The Dark Time

Over at Denise's House of White-Trash D├ęcor, Andy shows up on time and is greeted by leather-jacketed Denise, her ill-tempered rottweiler (boxer? I neither know nor care) Ripper, and, most importantly, her burly, greasy boyfriend, "Chess." Chess doesn't say much, just rifles through Andy's messenger bag and pats Andy down while Andy does the nervous babbling he does so well. Chess finally produces a baggie of weed from Andy's sack, then grabs Ripper by the collar and leads his snarling jaws right up to Andy's other sack and asks where Andy gets his weed from. Andy spins a lie about buying from some guys downtown, which leads Chess to open the doors to is dining room, where the entire biker gang from Oz has apparently relocated in order to bag up weed. Denise assures Andy it's all cool, and Chess emerges with a giant bag full of weed and asks Andy if he'd be interested in buying. Andy's like, "Well, I'm good now, but I'll keep you in mind if I see 2001 is on pay cable..." but Chess interrupts and says to tell "Mrs. Botwin" that it's available if she's interested. "After all, we're local," says Chess. "It's the right thing to do." Oh, Nancy's so fucking this guy by season's end. I know I was offbase with the Doug/councilwoman thing from last week, but I think I'm right about this one. Chess then dismisses Andy, who stupidly still thinks he has a date with Denise. So I guess this is Andy's turn to ruin things for everyone, like Silas did last year. Sounds fun.

Grow House 3.0. Nancy and Conrad are unwinding after a hard day of relocating their massive narcotics operation in broad daylight. Nancy gets Conrad to clarify that they're not moving back to the warehouse after the fire marshal has come because they don't want to further damage the plants. They lost twenty in the move, says Conrad. "This here is like a halfway house for traumatized plants." They share a laugh, which...I can't even remember the last time that happened, and it's so nice to see. Nancy offers the service of her "crew" (I think she means her dealers?) since Conrad doesn't think Heylia and Vaneeta will be too keen on making the commute from Crackton to Majestic. They laugh some more about Conrad being a black man living on a golf course, then she asks how Silas is doing. Conrad says the kid's doing great: "He's got a future if he chooses to go this way." Nancy receives this like the knife in the gut that it is, but she also sees the other side, which is that Silas has more of a future now than he ever had as an angry, whiny birth-control-tamperer. On the verge of tears, Nancy asks Conrad if he thinks she's a bad person. He doesn't. She thanks him. Then she reaches her hand out to his chest, asking, "What about now?" and ladies and gentlemen, it's all over from there. Almost three full seasons and finally Nancy and Conrad are going for it. They do it right there on the kitchen counter, with Romany Malco's (impressive) ass on display for all to see. "You're fucking evil," he whispers into her face. And while I know that, since it's Weeds, this will probably end badly for them, for right now, I am pleased. Nancy finally got one right.

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