Episode Report Card
admin: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
The Punishment Light

We open in a cemetery, where the Botwins, joined by Doug and Lupita, are unveiling Judah's headstone. Shane's dressed up for his karate tournament, and he offers his dad a bow. Then Andy steps up and delivers an incredibly morose eulogy about how Judah Was A Man and Andy will be forgotten upon his own passing. He also mentions his absent father, who he says is currently in a poker tournament at Foxwoods, which automatically puts him on the list of unseen characters I hope to see soon, alongside Nancy's sister Jill and Doug's wife Dana. Anyway: Judah is mourned.

Hodes House. Celia and Dean stand grooming themselves in front of their twin bathroom mirrors, which is code on this show for "Celia and Dean are about to fuck up their marriage again." They run through their dull plans for the day, until Celia turns to him and announces, "I fucked a black guy." Oh, Jesus. And they made so much progress last week!

Botwins'. Andy, Doug, and Lupita return from the ceremony, Andy still droning on about Judah. Of course, his mind then drifts and he asks Doug if he wants to smoke up. "Is the Pope Polish?" Doug asks. Andy hesitates for a second, then goes, "...German, actually." Andy retrieves Nancy's stash -- which she keeps in a giant box of tampons -- "Where men fear to tread," says Andy -- but they discover that rodents have eaten through the box and a lot of the weed. Stupid hippie rats!

Shane's karate tournament. Silas bitches about having to be there instead of fooling around with Megan at home. Shane fills in the blanks for us on that last part. The karate coach points Shane to his opponent, a bigger kid who looks about ten times more aggressive. Shane looks apprehensive, to say the least. They line up across from each other, bow, and the referee calls "fight!" Shane yells, "Shema Yisrael!", charges at the kid, and clamps his teeth on the kid's foot. Of course he does. Weird little fucker.

Cut to Nancy, mortified and with Shane in a modified headlock, babbling to the kid's father, who we see is played by Martin Donovan. She motormouths about Shane just coming from his father's unveiling, which is a Jewish thing, even though she's not Jewish, she comes from Welsh stock, no, but her husband, who is dead, he was Jewish, and she'd be happy -- no, thrilled! -- to pay for a tetanus shot if that's what this kid needs and oh my God please say something! "He's not my kid," deadpans the dad. "Just kidding, my name's Peter." Nancy laughs her nervous laugh and shakes his hand.

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