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The Punishment Lighter

Heylia's. Nancy shows up still reeling from her near-miss with the cops. Conrad and Heylia don't take her so seriously -- they barely look up from their jigsaw puzzle (hee) -- when she says she lost $14,000 worth of stash, but when she says she got "busted," they pay attention real quick. Before Heylia can even reach for a wooden spoon to smack Nancy over the head with, Nancy explains how campus security let her off with a warning but confiscated her weed. At this, Conrad and Heylia calm down a bit, and Conrad tells Nancy she didn't get busted, she got jacked. Nancy doesn't believe it. "You think a cop gonna let a drug dealer go on just a warning?" Heylia asks. "Even a pretty little white one like you?" Conrad says he'd bet Rent-A-Cop is dealing on campus as well and wanted to get rid of Nancy's competition. Damn, between Alejandro, Nancy, and now Rent-A-Cop, Valley State is one competitive marketplace. The economics department could really push the "real-world experience" thing in their next brochure. Anyway, Nancy embarks upon a string of expletives as Heylia smirkingly tells her to let it all out. Nancy asks to borrow a gun so she can get her shit back, but nobody thinks that's a good idea. Conrad says she's going to have to take her lumps. Nancy then gets a phone call from Shane's school. "Looks like I'm not the only Botwin to get busted today," Nancy laments.

Cut to Nancy and Shane in the principal's office. Seems Shane decided the school's Diversity Week display of Moses and the Burning Bush "lacked authenticity," so he set the bush on fire. Nancy asks Shane if he knows how dangerous that was. "Hardly at all," says Shane, since the floor was concrete and the sprinklers were right overhead. "It was out in seconds," he justifies. The principal says the presenters from Temple Beth Shalom were soaked and terrified: "You really frightened those nice Jews, young man." He says he's going to confiscate the lighter -- Silas's lighter -- and suspend Shane until Monday. Shane, to Nancy: "Can I have drugs now?" Outside, Shane's still pressing the issue as they see Silas drive up in front of them in a Porsche. Megan's dad is teaching him how to drive stick, you see. Nancy's like, "Uh...thanks!" and Silas and Megan's dad drive off.

Elsewhere, it's the grand opening for Nancy's fakery, called "Breadsticks and Scones" (or "B.S." if you prefer). Andy's doing his best to dispose of the inventory, which was fresh baked...at Costco. Nancy shows up, still in a daze, and asks how the day went. Andy smiles that they made $17. Nancy starts to freak, because after getting jacked, they're at zero, which means this sham bakery needs to make them some money for real. A woman walks in looking for pastry and Andy quickly tells her they're closed. "Good start," says Nancy.

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