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The Punishment Lighter

PTA meeting. Maggie can barely gavel the proceedings to order before Celia (sandy blonde wig with some really chic layers this time) interrupts with a "bon voyage gift" for her and her kids. Maggie's like, "Where are we going? I hope it's Vegas!" Oh, this should be enjoyable. Inside the box is an application for Summer Canyon elementary, since Maggie's house on the golf course is no longer in Agrestic's school district, which means Maggie's kids can't go to Agrestic, which means Maggie can't be president of the PTA. The bright side, of course, is that Summer Canyon's gym teacher is totally straight! Celia asks for all who support her bid to be reinstated as president to say "aye." Pam does, and over Maggie's objections, so do the rest of the women. Celia, triumphant, thanks Maggie for her input.

Fakery. Nancy and Sanjay are dumping coffee beans into jars when Alejando barges in, asking Nancy why she hasn't responded to his gifts. Sanjay asks who this guy is and if she wants him to kick his ass. Hee hee. Alejandro, however, is smitten with Nancy and wants them to be able to do business together and then be able to "celebrate" their success afterwards. Nancy's not interested. Sanjay tries to get Alejandro to leave, but he merely raises an arm and Sanjay goes fleeing, once again calling, "Forgive me!" Nonplussed, Alejandro says she needs his connections and protection while he needs her hookup to the good shit to which the fine people of Agrestic have become accustomed. Nancy says she's doesn't have any hookup anymore. Alejandro thinks the jacking at Valley State makes her more in need of his protection than ever. He pulls out a slinky red negligee that Nancy snatches and throws in the trash. Alejandro seems undaunted but content to try again later.

Silas is in his room, loading up his knapsack with the usual teenage accessories: bong, condoms, candles (scented and votive). He pulls open his drawer to grab his lighter, but of course it's not there. Silas goes into the kitchen -- where Shane is reading an anti-depressant pamphlet -- and asks Lupita if she's seen the lighter. Shane timidly says it got confiscated and is now in the principal's office. Silas looks for a second like he's going to cry, then calls Shane a "fucking idiot." Shane instantly fires back, "You're an idiot -- fuck you!" "That was Dad's lighter!" Silas screams, and -- just as Nancy walks in the door -- he punches Shane square in the face. Shane goes down like a sack of potatoes and starts crying, and Silas, running on the fumes of how own anger, keep repeating that Dad gave it to him. Nancy shoves Silas aside to get to Shane, as Silas looks on, shocked that he just did that. Silas then runs out the front door as Nancy curses him under her breath. Dude, you forgot your bong and condoms!

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