Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
"I'm Sorry That You Suck So Much."

What I do know is that if Till and Schlatter were women, the idea of sticking some random practically nameless lesbian cop in there to get her face disc-sanded at the last second would stick in some fucking craws. I do know that, and the reason that I know it is that it happens all the fucking time. It's lazy there and it's lazy here, and it does nothing to further the plot except to say, "Even Sanjay, who is himself one hundred percent gay as his entire personality, knows that this man is untrustworthy because he's gay."

Shane's smoking with the skanks behind the gym; Isabelle stands by being disapproving and asking them not to blow smoke in her face. The slightly gothier one tells Iz to dye her hair black, and they start talking about how bad-ass it would be to break into the chemistry room. Isabelle points out that this is stupid, being that it's the middle of the day, and the girls scream about how they just wanna get high. (Man, I wish they would make some uninformed decisions about substance use in their high school's chemistry lab: "This says 'hydrochloric acid.' Is that like hydroponic?" "I don't know, let's drink a whole bunch of it and then take a nap.") Shane, of course, immediately offers them pot, which Isabelle finds unimpressive to say the least. She gets ready to bounce, and the skanks tell her Shane's not going anywhere. He meekly agrees. "Wow. You two are totally making me reconsider fucking boys. You do them once and they become your puppet." Less-gothy girl, having just caught on, finds this inherently funny: "She's a dyke!" More-gothy skank says that in this case, she'd be better off dyeing her hair purple. It's a totally random, totally dumb, totally awesome little scene.

Silas is doing pot stuff when Shane shows up asking for a head cheese sandwich; Silas tells him to go to Subway. When Shane protests that they don't have what he wants, Silas swears that Cheese Gotta Have It doesn't either. Shane whines that Silas gave him a condom with which to fuck horrible girls, and Silas is great: "That was sex." He tells him to go to school, and Shane points out that Silas was smoking pot at thirteen, too. Silas explains that Shane is stupid enough as it is, and Shane tells a story about some asshole friend of Silas's who peed in their pool -- thereby causing Shane to avoid their pool for an entire year, which is a totally Shane thing to do, and under everybody's radar. Silas says he's not going to go all DARE on Shane -- which Shane agrees would be wildly hypocritical -- but he's not going to become his little brother's dealer either. Shane offers $300 and Silas tells him to go to school -- inflected in precisely the way mother Nancy would say it, "Go back to school. Shane." -- and Shane makes a sneaky face. Which I suppose means he's going to steal pot, take it to school, get caught, and bring his whole family down in a whole new fashion, except Nancy will do something sociopathic and entitled and make it go away. I'm just spitballing here.

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