Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
"I'm Sorry That You Suck So Much."

"I was a fear fuck," Andy claims. "She's so totally into you." Doug has gone very quiet and scary, and you already know what he's going to do. He's even wearing camo shorts in this scene. Andy swears it'll never happen again ("It will! It will happen many times!" Maria screams) and Doug forgives them, but tells Maria it's awkward having her in the hotel room with him. She agrees, because yes it is awkward to be kept hostage by a man like Doug and constantly assaulted by douche chill waves like that. They leave him alone at his calm and friendly request, and of course he immediately dials INS.

Nancy tries to talk the freaking-out Clinique -- another one-note character about how retarded whores are inherently funny -- down about how she, Sanjay and the baby will be taken care of; meanwhile Esteban's having a similar discussion with one of his crew. They both hang up and Esteban fills her in on the aftermath. Lots of arrests, one death, somebody talked. He starts quizzing her: "The one with the drug problem, your lesbian lover?" Nancy laughs and assures him that Celia is terrified of her, and also that she's not a lesbian. He agrees to take her word for it. "What about the Asian homosexual?" She balks and asks why they're focusing on her crew, and Esteban replies that his people don't talk. Except for that one time when Guillermo swore to kill Nancy and her family, she points out, and he says he's looking into everybody. Nancy snuggles cutely in his lap like a kitten, like she always does when things get scary, and asks if that means her too. Should he? "Only if you don't trust me," she gurgles. He says she's reckless and impulsive, but not suicidal. She wonders. As he's reminding her she'll have her own issues coming out of this, since she's the manager of the store with the tunnel, but just then Cesar arrives to take him to the press conference, and Esteban tells her they can't see each other for awhile.

Esteban and Cesar agree that it's inconvenient, but not a huge problem: they're already digging another tunnel. And this one won't have Nancy's compromised conscience saying what goes through it and what doesn't. He tells Nancy to call Cesar if she runs into trouble, and the two of them send major vibes at each other. Cesar is kind of scary, did you notice? At the door, Esteban turns and tells her yes: he loves her. She smiles and Cesar sends death glares in her direction; left alone, she thinks about what's left.

Celia makes amends to Isabelle, who's sitting on a couch with Dean holding her hand while they sit patiently waiting for this new Celia bullshit to die down: "...And I'm sorry for the massive body issues that I've given you, and I'm sorry for judging your lifestyle choice." She instructs her daughter to "love those ladies!" and shouts about "vagina power," then offers to buy her child a big old strap-on for Hanukkah. Dean reminds her that this is totally inappropriate, so she makes amends for that last remark too. I love these half-assed amends she's making, so so much, because exactly. That's exactly where Celia is located. "Do you forgive me?" Isabelle is astounded. "That's it? That's ... all you're sorry for?" The blank incomprehension on her mother's face is answer enough, and she shakes her head. "Apology accepted."

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