Nancy's like, "I do not recollect this instance, but that sounds pretty mean, so sorry?" Unfortunately, Popsicle Patty took it to heart, fucked fourteen guys junior year, got thrown out of the house and never went to college, and now she works at the high school, another corpse in the trail of dead: "I have had herpes for 27 years! But I am no prude!"

Nancy dives the fuck into her yearbooks, now that Phyllis has returned, and tries to be gracious about it considering this woman totally just attacked her out of nowhere, but Patty's not exactly out of bounds to whisper bitch! as she's walking away. And the day they took pictures, Ellis Tate wasn't available. She calls him for a date, flirty and cute, and wonders what she's gonna do about this one. If you asked her right now who Popsicle Patty was I have the funny feeling she wouldn't know who you were talking about.

Daoud Mahmud is the name of the passport guy, who intimidates Andy in just about every way he can from the moment he enters his office. When Andy brings up "passports," complete with airquotes, the dude has a whole conversation with imaginary finger-bunnies about how probably Andy is a cop. It's kind of scary. Andy namedrops Hooman Jaka, having buried the lede, and Mahmud goes apeshit.

"That fucking piece-of-shit cocksucker, I spit on Hooman Jaka!" Andy backs off and agrees that we hate Jaka, but that they've done business together, which Mahmud turns around to mean that Andy is a "crook piece of shit" too and you can see Andy just give up entirely. He goes into a whole gentle puppies rampage about how he's just there for the sake of the children, etc. "Think of me and my family as farmers, seeking shade in a summer drought, with a plague of locusts eating our fields." Then, farmer talk.

Andy finally seals the deal with his "very cute baby" who is in "grave danger." But it's not the gift of gab -- Nancy's bad luck with male authority has been infecting Andy a lot this season, no? -- that gets Mahmud: "I sense your desperation." Andy ducks his head, beautifully and sweetly, with a near-silent thank you; it might be the best part of the episode. He gets an address and bounces like the secret of Gummiberry Juice. (Dude, that's totally what they should call the invented drink!)

Fuckin' Schiff is like decorating Stevie's room at this point -- "What about a baseball theme?" -- and before Shane can warn him, he swigs some Gummiberry Juice from the fridge. ("New York's hottest club is Pants! Nightlife superstar drag queen Amber Alert is back with a party that answers the question, 'Whence?' They've got everything: Teddybear spycams, tooth-necklace gods, and Richard Dreyfuss on hash-laced energy drinks.") I'm sure this bothers Shane for a good three seconds before he decides that the rest of the day is about to get awesome.