"Never go into sales," Celia advises. "It's humiliating. I'm Willy Loman. Dean was supposed to be Willy Loman."
"I fucking hate Mexicans," Shane says, "They're animals. They have no regard for human life. I think I'm going to move back here. Can you tell my mom you'll take care of me?"
Celia catches wind of what he's saying for the first time, and narrows her eyes at him: "No way! I have enough problems of my own without taking on Nancy's." Besides, she asks, why would he or anybody want to be stuck with her, counting on her fingers: "I'm a bitch. I drink. And I peddle useless shit that nobody wants." Shane explains that he doesn't actually need her to take care of him, he just wants an excuse so that Nancy will leave him alone, and then tells Celia to peddle "something people want." Such as? Drugs. She groans expansively: "Now you tell me! I just blew my whole wad on eyeshadow and zit concealer!" She sends him to get her a drink, and he sort of grins about how insane she is, and goes. But while he's gone, the wheels start turning. Oh dear.
Rosemary Woodhouse: "Are you trying to get me to be his mother?"
Roman Castavet: "Aren't you his mother?"
Alanis! Is happy to see Nancy, calling her a "crescent to a full moon" since the last time she saw her, still using her Alanis powers to not be a douchebag when she says this. Nancy apologizes for seeing another doctor over the last six months, and Alanis smiles. "I've been seeing other patients! It's all good." Andy, supposedly former infatuation junkie that he is, immediately jumps on her chili and introduces himself in terms of both his place in the family's life and as a man who believes that family and children are the most important blah blah. Nancy finally stops him, explaining that it's time to induce this particular instance of that blah blah.
Alanis asks what her doctor thinks about that, and Nancy replies truthfully that she didn't ask, begging her to get the baby out of her ASAP. Alanis shakes her head and reminds her that she's still two days from her due date, and should just let her body call the shots. Before she can go into This Too Shall Pass mode, Nancy nearly starts crying, because she can't wait. "Not because I'm uncomfortable," she bites at her frustration, and Andy steps in: "The father is a drug kingpin-slash-mayor-slash-radical home birth advocate who built a delivery room in their guesthouse, spared no expense, for two apparent reasons: one, to guarantee that his first and only son arrives safely; two, to insure no witnesses or official records of this event, which could pose a problem if he ever decided to kidnap the baby to Mexico and/or kill its mother the minute she gives birth." Breathless and beautifully executed, Botwin.













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