"Now, maybe all of this is coincidence, but one thing is for sure: They have a coven, and they want my baby." -- Rosemary Woodhouse
"Thank you, Andy, for your discretion." Alanis stares, and Nancy's like, "I need witnesses and a baby and a birth certificate before he realizes that I'm gone." Saying it out loud, she realizes how trashy it sounds, and how helpless and out of control she is, and starts crying those angry tears. "I don't have health insurance," she smiles, "But I can pay cash!" She holds out a paper bag toward Alanis and prays for death. "And if all goes well, there's a healthy bonus in it for you."
She's just so embarrassed, it's terrible. I know Nancy can be hard to take, but being myself a horribly prideful person who can't ask for basic favors or even spare change, much less a C-section should I have occasion to require one, she really got to me here. Alanis pushes the money away and says they should get her into the hospital immediately, sketching out the pros and cons of a caesarian until Nancy whisper-shouts, "GET IT OUT!" Alanis leaves, totally awesome, and Andy is under her spell. "I beg you," Nancy huffs, "Wait until I've given birth."
The dispensary is still full of superheroes and Lazytown characters when Doug tosses an envelope of money at CP, who is back in that stupid papasan bed. Doug notes that dorks smoke a lot of pot apparently, but allows as how you'd have to be pretty baked to dress like Skeletor and/or try to get upskirt snaps of Lucy Lawless. As Doug brags that he and Blitt can run the place without Silas, Dean Hodes enters in the usual chintzy suit, and he and Doug trade barbs for awhile.
Doug's basic point is that Dean is a jinx, which is true, and Dean's is that Doug is a worthless douche, which is a world of true, and then Silas comes out to shake hands with Dean, who is there to formally dissolve their partnership. But before they do -- or reconcile, it seems likely -- some cops bust in that Doug initially mistakes for more nerds, until you see the INTERNAL AFFAIRS on their flak jackets, and then Blitt is suddenly IA and he's got CP on his face, cuffing him for theft, extortion, falsifying documents and the rest of it. Doug asks if he can still bang Cousin Rachel, and Dean tries to ambulance-chase CP with his business card before one of the IA guys shoves him down with his shoe. Doug points out that in fact Dean is a huge jinx, and I can't imagine how we'll be able to wait a whole week to see what thrilling thing happens next with these three.