Weeds

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Joe R: B+ | Grade It Now!
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You Can't Miss The Bear

Nancy takes a look at the filled Ziploc bag meant for her and says it looks a little small. Cue the record scratch because OH NO SHE DID NOT. "Bitch," says Heylia, neck all a-swivel, "I can eyeball an ounce from outer space with my glasses cracked." He plops the bag into the scale and it's perfect. "You never question Heylia's eyeballing," says Conrad. "That's the Rain Man of weed right there." My favorite thing about Heylia is on full display right now: her incredulity at Nancy for presuming she knows shit about anything, much less a dirty business like weed, and her chuckling respect for the woman, because there she goes doing it anyway. And both attitudes are present at all times. Nancy apologizes with a smile and calls herself a "bitch-ass...bitch." Everyone has a good laugh at that. Nancy does think she deserves some respect, though, for being the number one game in Agrestic. "Drugs sell themselves, biscuit," snarks Heylia, in one of the pilot's signature lines. "You ain't shit." Nancy pays for her weed (with a pretty yellow ribbon around the stack of bills) and rushes off. Heylia asks what's the big rush ("Dr. Phil ain't on 'til four"), and Nancy says she's late for Shane's appointment with his grief counselor. Heylia's face gets serious and she apologizes for being flip. As Nancy leaves, and Conrad practically leaps up to see her out, Vaneeta exposits about the whole "dad dies while jogging with the kid" thing. But I already mentioned that.

Conrad walks Nancy out, asking if she's okay. "We do business, not personal," says Nancy, distancing herself. There's a little song-and-dance wherein it's revealed that Nancy was referred to Conrad and Heylia by her brother-in-law Andy. Conrad tells her to drive safe, and by "drive" he means "make out with" and by "safe" he means "me." Nancy doesn't pick up on it.

At the homestead, Nancy has to interrogate her boys as to who broke the skylight in the guest room. Shane did, when he fell through it while spying on Silas and his girlfriend Quinn (Celia's daughter, though we find that out later). Lupita, the cleaning lady, says she told Shane to get down, but Shane says he couldn't hear her. Silas says the "deaf girl on Dewey St. could hear her," which is a throwaway line that will become more important later on this season. Shane says the girl's not deaf, there's just something wrong with her tongue. Silas says from what he's heard, there's nothing wrong with her tongue, heh-heh-heh. Shane doesn't know what that means, and Nancy's trying to keep Silas and Quinn from illuminating him when her pager goes off. "Neighborhood watch thing," Nancy lies as she takes off. The second she's gone, Silas and Quinn scurry into the nearest bedroom to get nasty, and Lupita blesses herself. She and Shane get to watching their bear-hunting TV show.

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Weeds

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