Weeds

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You Can't Miss The Bear

Nancy's no sooner in her car than she's startled by the clean-cut, headphones-wearing, alarmingly appealing teen boy in her back seat. Josh! It's Josh Wilson, and this is tragically his only appearance in the entire series as Justin Chatwin left to film War of the Worlds soon after and never returned. I'm going to venture a guess and say "bad call," though admittedly not from the perspective of his bank account. Anyway, Josh is fucking awesome and he's here to buy weed. Nancy's simultaneously annoyed and amused by Josh, who says he needs the herb bad because his usual dealer's on a yoga retreat. A couple references to watching Winged Migration and The Passion of the Christ while stoned haven't aged all that well (POTC as a "snuff film" has become especially well-worn territory), but Chatwin's so charismatic he sells it anyway. Nancy makes him promise to obey the rules: stay away from Nancy's customers, don't deal to kids, though "kids" is one hell of a gray area considering Josh is in high school himself. "If they're too young to bleed, they're too young for weed," Josh deadpans. "No grass on the field, no grass will they yield." Nancy calls him a poet (Josh: "You know it.") and offers him a ride back, but Josh figures the suburban streets of Agrestic are safe to walk at night. Do you see the irony?? DO YOU???

The next day at the soccer field, Nancy relaxes on the sidelines while the fine people of Agrestic time-lapse their way up to her and make their surreptitious transactions. No better place to get baked than the kids' soccer game, I say. Poor Shane is spaced out on the field, getting run over by his teammates. Celia joins Nancy and starts bitching about her youngest daughter, Isabelle, and how she's just not able to lose any weight. Isabelle's, like, eleven, by the way. And speaking of Isabelle, I'm not weecapping season 2 (Wing Chun gets that honor, though I'll be back for season 3), which means I miss the entire Huskaroos era, which is such a shame. That fake TV ad is maybe the funniest thing this show's ever done. Anyway, Celia calls Isabelle over and says she's like to see more running, and she calls her "Isabelly," which still makes me laugh. Celia keeps bitching to Nancy about how awful it is that her girls take after her husband, while Nancy graciously declines to smack her in the mouth. Celia notes that Shane is bleeding, and we see him lick the blood off his knee, which naturally causes his teammates to freak out and point at him. Nancy tends to Shane's boo-boo while Celia continues to give unsolicited parenting advice, until Doug Wilson shows up, looking to buy. Celia bitches to Doug that his son Josh (I'd almost forgotten Josh was Doug's kid -- that means they can bring him back to the show at any time, HINT) is over by the playground selling weed. Nancy uses a catalog as cover to pass Doug his stash (Celia's unaware of Nancy's ancillary business), but she has to forcefully shoo him away when he tries to pay her right out in the open. Celia's annoyed she can't sic the cops on Josh (Nancy's quick to point out that he'd drop whatever he had on him at the first sight of a uniform) and tells Nancy that they found a ten-year-old with weed in his lunchbox last week. Nancy nearly chokes.

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Weeds

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