Alias
Welcome To Liberty Village

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Young (Fake) Americans

We leave Sergei and head over to the Ovary Electric, where a double date is already in progress. Agent Sean is very cutely trying to explain the exciting game of bowling to Nadia, who doesn't really get the point of knocking over a bunch of pins at the end of a lane. I don't really either, but if you drink enough beer while you're doing it, you wind up not caring whether you get it or not. This could also be said of the program Lost, boyfriends, The Rule of Five, calculus and any movie written by Charlie Kaufman.

Vaughn hassles Agent Sean about being a bad bowler and there's some more cute interaction between the couples. The gist of the scene is that Nadia states they have bowling in Argentina, so she knows what it is, she's just not sure it's any fun. Weiss disagrees, saying that she's never had a true bowling experience, complete with glow-in-the-dark pins, all-you-can-eat hot dogs after ten, and bad disco music piped in while you play. And to that I say, "Amen, Brother Weiss!" So Weiss wants to prove to Nadia how fun bowling is by taking everyone on an impromptu bowling excursion. Nadia seems up for it, but Grandpa Vaughn and Grandma Syd have to stay home 'cuz it's a school night and they have to go and save the world tomorrow. "Guys, you don't have to analyze everything you do," says Weiss. "You can just decide to have fun. It's okay." "We're fun," says Syd, cocking an eyebrow at Vaughn. Heh. "Hey, look," says Vaughn, "it's Wednesday night. We're not going bowling. We have a show to do. Or have you forgotten that Alias is on Wednesdays now?" Weiss hasn't forgotten, he just doesn't care, so he and Nadia head out to go bowling.

"We don't analyze everything we do," says Syd. "Do we?" Hee. "No," says Vaughn, totally knowing that they actually do analyze everything they do. "No, we don't. And besides, we agreed to take things slow." Yeah, "taking it slow" has nothing to do with bowling, Vaughn. Or do you think that the aphrodisiacal properties of disco bowling are so powerful that you'll be compelled just to throw Syd down on Lane 10 and make sweet love to her right after you hit a strike? "We're choosing not to be spontaneous," says Syd. "Exactly," says Vaughn. And then their cell phones ring. "And that's why they call us when something's wrong," says Vaughn as they both answer their phones. Hee hee hee.

Apple Store. Sloane and Jack are dressed as if they've been there all day (I honestly don't think they ever leave the place) and Syd and Vaughn enter in their casual leathers. It would seem that the device Sergei stole was an electromagnetic weapon. Marshall says it's really super-duper-bad and asks Syd if she knows what an electromagnetic pulse does. Syd's seen The Matrix and Ocean's Eleven, so she knows that it destroys electronic equipment and fries circuitry. Well, if the stolen electromagnetic weapon were to go off, everything within a ten-mile radius that contains electronic parts, like computers or car radios, will be fried. So, like, if a terrorist were to detonate this thing in a major city, casualties would be extreme, due to all the, like, electronic shit being thrown down and whatever. And, even better, this thing isn't just a one-time performer. It has a repeatable core. Dix explains that you could set it off and take down Hell-Lay and then cruise up to San Francisco on the same day and hit it as well.

Syd asks who the thief is and Sloane informs her that it's Sergei, formerly of the KGB, currently of something called the October Contingent. They're Russian ultra-nationalists. I didn't even know such a thing existed. And, no, I'm not Googling it. Googling is reserved for things like actor's names and gossip about celebrity relationships. So, whatever, the October Contingent is looking for new recruits. Sloane brings up a picture of a man and a woman who were picked up by German authorities. They were attempting to smuggle weapons through a customs checkpoint. The couple, whose names are Dimitry and Ilyana Tabokov, is suspected to be Chechnyan mercenaries, and they revealed during their interrogation that the October Contingent has tried to recruit them.

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Alias

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