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Young (Fake) Americans

There's more shilling and conversation about the car. It's all very cute and Syd and Vaughn do a good job of pretending to be suburban Americans, but nothing's all that interesting until Phil asks Syd how Vaughn asked her to marry him. Syd's momentarily at a loss. "He…took me to--" "Santa Barbara, actually," says Vaughn, stepping up to deliver the goods. Syd smiles at him and continues to smile and be amazed for the rest of Vaughn's speech. "I had this whole romantic weekend planned," he continues. "Presidential Suite at the Biltmore, candlelit dinner on the cliffs overlooking the ocean. So we went into town, and she wouldn't stop talking about the zoo. So, we went to the zoo. Figured I'd get it over with." Vaughn gets out of the car and looks down at Syd. "Then I saw how happy it made her. It made me forget about all my stupid plans. And here we had a personal chef, making this unbelievable meal at the hotel…but…I proposed on one knee in sawdust in front of a giraffe with a crooked neck." Syd is staring seriously at Vaughn, knowing that, if she hadn't been attacked by Francinator and then vanished for two years, this story may very well have been a reality.

Phil says he can't resist young love, so he wants to sit down and make a deal. We next see Syd and Vaughn, sitting next to each other in front of Phil's desk as Phil goes off and pretends to do magic with the down payment numbers. Syd looks long and hard at Vaughn. "What?" he asks. Syd's about to answer when Phil comes back and blah blahs something about the newlywed rate. There's one small problem. Another couple wants the car. It's the McSpyneighbors from earlier and they're under evaluation as well and, this being America, things are being decided with a good old-fashioned competition. Only this ain't no pie-eating competition. No. It's a gun-assembly-kill-the-other-guys competition. The winning couple gets to move on in the program and also gets a brand-new convertible and the losing couple…dies. Phil opens up a suitcase with the Tokorev inside and gets the hell out of the way because the other salesman, well, he gave the McSpyneighbors a head start. Phil runs off and Syd and Vaughn move into action as they see the McSpyneighbors are already in the process of assembling their gun. Both teams work together to frantically assemble their guns.

What follows is an action sequence that I'm not even going to TRY to recap, because it's kind of all over the place and, really, you know who's going to win, don't you? I mean, everyone assembles their guns, then shooting starts, then there's running around, fighting, hitting, more shooting, then Syd jumps into the convertible after grabbing the gun, more fighting, more shooting, more fighting, then Syd shoots Mrs. McSpyneighbor dead. Oops. No convenient knives to fall upon around here, huh, Syd? She looks up and sees Vaughn still fighting with Mr. McSpyneighbor. Quickly, she manages to find the keys to the convertible, starts it up, and revs the engine. Vaughn hears the engine and maneuvers Mr. McSpyneighbor into Syd's path as she bolts the car down off the dais and right into the guy. She stops, calls to Vaughn to get in, and they drive off.

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