We’re So Screwed (3): La Bomba

Episode Report Card
admin: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
"Love You." "...Love You, Too."

D'Argo tells John and Aeryn they haven't (n-1) Override Joke, and John's like, "Did you put the key in?" He hisses, "Yes I used the frelling key." John's like, Murphy! Please! "Why do we even bother?" John, shocking everybody, shoots the exterior control panel several times, and sparks shoot out both downstairs and up where the Kalish is still doing the (n-1) deal. He pats at them tenderly but there's no response. D'Argo's like, "Ahem?" John says he's sending a message, and lets the door shut behind him. The Kalish tells Ahkna he's lost his connection to the elevator, thanks to John severing the ties between the bottom and the top. (Remember this for next week: John severs the connection between one end of the shaft and the other, to control it for himself. The key is communication, the key is the same thing it always is: black holes v. wormholes, love v. silence. He destroys the communication and gets control of both sides, turning a wormhole, in this example, into a black hole. I read today that there's new evidence that black holes don't work like they thought, and maybe they'll be re-classified as "MECOs": Magnetospheric Eternally Collapsing Objects. Eternally collapsing: there's a definition I can deal with.)

"Drill's on," says D'Argo, and John steals my Wonkavator joke, asking if D'Argo can drive it. D'Argo's like, "Can you?" And John says no, and D'Argo goes, "Then why ask?" The elevator jerks, tossing everyone around; this is as good a "dancing in the elevator" moment as John and D'Argo are going to get. They rocket up in the shaft, then vector out into solid rock.

A long-neck Scarran approaches Ahkna, saying that there's been an unusual energy discharge in the cavern, and she immediately asks about the status of the Crystherium. "Unknown," but on the other hand they've also lost contact with the strike team. "Crichton?" "...Has activated the drill, and is coring through solid rock. Impossible to predict his destination, my love." (Oh, that must be Pennoch! Hi, Pennoch! You're so gross-looking!) She's like, "Your destination, my love, is a frelling torture station if you don't stop him!" Also, I've been torturing Scorpius but I thought it was okay since we were on a break and I haven't seen you all trilogy. Please do not get all Maury about it right now, because he's gone and anyway it didn't mean anything, and I was totally thinking of you the whole time.

John's like, "You at least know how to get us where we're going?" No, D'Argo does not. And in classic, gorgeous John Crichton form, he snaps back, "Oh, then go faster." They all get tossed around and D'Argo smiles: "Here's faster." Drilling and drilling. John calls it a hell of a ride, Chiana laughs, Aeryn smiles. They spin. "Kinda fun, huh?" They whirl and there are crashes and scary jerks as they continue to dig. "Okay, it's no longer a joke." The cuteness quotient of this episode is so high, like record high, that even him saying that is, like, so cute. Pass the champagne, their asses are fine. We're so far into allegory territory at this point, they might just suddenly turn into a giant baby in space.

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