We’re So Screwed (3): La Bomba

Episode Report Card
admin: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
"Love You." "...Love You, Too."

Kalish Secretary Vakali and Charrid General Rahzaro, the guys who basically started the riot last week with their chest-bumping bullshit, sit at a table as the Emperor enters. "Protection of the Crystherium was your number-one priority," Staleek begins the slow burn, and Rahzaro nods. "Yes, my lord, but it was not I who gave permission for the access codes." Vakali asks again what the hell he's implying, and the Emperor tells them both to suck it. "Do not give me your excuses!" Captain Jenek comes in, saying Grayza's now just stopped acknowledging altogether, on all frequencies. Staleek credits her for choosing "suicide over failure" and asks how Jenek's positioned for the battle. "They will be accorded every opportunity to cease fire," Jenek says. "Peacekeeper Command will find no fault with our self-defense." Captain Jenek for peace! Awesome! When you're not raping medical patients you're awesome! "Captain Jenek here epitomizes the competence I demand," Staleek growls. "Perhaps you can next assist Minister Ahkna in her follies." Jenek nods, and Staleek tells him he can have her job if he nabs John. Jenek bobs and takes off, and Staleek shakes his head at the embarrassed Vakali and Rahzaro, who look away all jealous and ashamed. "Fools." (Cute! This is like the Jane Espenson episode for all time. Everybody's so adorable and quippy!)

Grayza looks over the Command Carrier, which is bathed in red danger light. "Tell me when target acquisitions are complete," she orders, and Braca approaches gingerly -- he's actually carrying a clipboard right now -- and looks at her like she's a mean dog. "Ma'am. There is no battle here, ma'am." He keeps his voice very low; so does she. "Why are you so averse to conflict, Captain?" Braca forgets himself: "And why are you so adverse to..." His whole body goes oops and he gets super-scared. "How dare you?" she shouts. "Who do you think you are?" The other Peacekeepers turn and stare. Braca stands straight, staring her down: "Captain Miklo Braca, Officer of the Fleet, Peacekeeper Interplanetary Service." She nods. "Oh. Nobody," she snarks, and fully turns and walks away. He follows, with his hands gone crazy. "Ma'am, you'll start a war." She shrugs, as the Sergeant watches carefully. "War is inevitable." Braca shakes his head: "We sail under a flag of truce -- let us leave beneath its protection." I love how she's just completely blowing his mind. It's like when Aeryn found out nobody actually followed the rules. This is exactly why Braca, who rocks on like every level, never made it past Riker status: he's not fucking nuts.

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