Survivor
Why Would You Trust Me?

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In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on Last Team Standing Is A Rotten...Never Mind: Candice and Adam canoodled clumsily at Raro. Little Aitu won the reward challenge and went to a fabulous feast that included dirty dancing, and Big Raro just pouted. Candice went into Exile, and she didn't like being on the other side of the hazing one bit. At the immunity challenge, Raro lost once again, and they had to go to tribal council toting a mysterious message in a bottle. After they fairly easily dumped designated challenge liability Rebecca, they opened the bottle and discovered that they had to get rid of somebody else, too. Fearing that she was going to undermine the "original Raro" plan (because "original Raro" is the polite way of putting it), Raro got rid of Jenny, who was so unhappy about her banishment that she flipped the tribe off on her way out. Poor Jenny! Poor Jenny's finger! So there are nine people left. Who will be voted out tonight?

Also: props to CletusMusashi for the unbeatable homepage headline, perfect for a truly headline-making episode.

We find ourselves at Raro on Day 25. Jonathan is emerging from the shelter to go fishing, but the rest of the tribe sees no need to do anything but stay in bed like the lazyboneses that they are. Jonathan even tries hinting that it's not as easy to bring in unlimited supplies of fish as it used to be, but he gets no interest from the group, because they don't want anything to cut into their resting time. In an interview, Jonathan tells us that he could have been voted out last night very easily, and that it remains to be seen whether the mutiny was a smart move. It seems to be working okay for him right now, he points out, given that three people have gone since the mutiny, and he and Candice are still there. Apparently, he still has the notion that he and Candice are aligned, meaning that he is not over the most basic of his delusions. Jonathan says that he's now in an improved position in a smaller tribe, and I don't get how that's true at all, but...all right. I have to think Jonathan should realize that, while he might be ahead of Nate, he is fourth at best with Raro, and that doesn't necessarily seem to be better than his position was at Aitu, you know?

Back at camp, Adam, Parvati, and Candice admit that maybe they should do something about a fire, since Jonathan is out getting food for them. "Or we could just have him come back and start the fire," Adam laughs, because being incapable of caring for yourself without a camp counselor is hilarious. In fact, when Jonathan returns with his haul of fish, they don't even have the fire going. He tells us that he was "disappointed," and that while these are "young people who like to sleep in," they're going to have to start doing things his way. We'll call that the Call Of The Very Responsible But Not Very Long For This World. With that, Jonathan starts ordering the group around about how they're going to pull it together and eat. He's not particularly pleased to find that they don't even have any water. "We've got to hit it right now," Jonathan says irritably as Nate walks off with the water container, most of his butt hanging out of the back of his shorts, as it does, apparently without interruption. It's like he has a special crack-revealing pair of shorts, the better to keep the blur police busy through the holidays. If I ran this show, it would be my first rule that all shorts have to have drawstrings, because seriously, nobody wants to see your ass.

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Survivor

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