Wolf Lake

Episode Report Card
Heathen: B- | 1291 USERS: C+
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Excitable Boy

Sophia goes out into the forest, wearing the red pants and white shirt seen once before in her non-menopausal hot flash. Whoa, Soph, those jeans are made of cotton, not skin. People talk, you know. They might start calling you a tight-ass if you don't go up a size. Mozart's lost composition, the Life Change of the Hairy Non-Dog Hellions symphony accompanies Sophia's trip into the woods. Trees swirl overhead. She feels the ground, listens, smiles. Her movements are slow. Wolves growl and snarl in the background, then pant and howl. Standing alone, she looks up at the sky from the center of a clearing -- just as she did in the hot flash. As her heartbeat gets louder and louder, she notices a passel of wolves gathering around her, staring at her without menace. We hear whispers that are indistinguishable, but the closed-captioners claim we're hearing the same dialogue she and Sherman swapped in the diner. The, they claim the wolves whisper, "No, stay! Don't go." Whatever. Basically, she's communing with nature, tweaking her inner-wolf and thanking God she switched to Mane & Tail shampoo a year ago.

Perched smugly at his desk, Lou tells Donner that Miranda "gave up a lot." Well, we have already established that she's the town ho, but it's nice that the deputy sheriff is "investigating" just to be sure. Oh, but I guess he's referring to a confession. He plays a tape. On it, Miranda makes him swear not to freak out at what she's about to reveal. And then, the money shot. "It...was...a...WOLF," she says slowly. Donner looks startled, but not for the reasons Lou thinks. "Everybody said she was a head-case that needs to be shipped to Toontown," Lou says. That's an insult to cartoons. Lou promises to drop the case forever unless Donner can clarify any of this madness. "She's a head-case who can sing her ass off," Donner says, as though resigned to her insanity. Donner needs a hearing aid. "I'll put that in my report," Lou sasses, leaving. Donner looks nervous. He knows things. Special things. Secretive things. And he's afraid of all the dirty puns one could make about Miranda being a head-case.

Wolf Lake

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