Wolf Lake

Episode Report Card
Heathen: B- | 1291 USERS: C+
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Excitable Boy

WolfCam watches Miranda walk home. Walking. Watching. Look behind you, Miranda! Wolfie hides. Miranda is suspicious, so she does the smart thing and keeps walking home alone in the dark. A truck passes, splashing a puddle and getting Miranda all wet. If she wasn't already. Courteously, she starts running straight toward the town's wolf statue. Then she makes an abrupt turn. WolfCam. Growling. Snarling. Miranda pants, and so does the critter. Stopping, she backs up against a tree, which is a proven defense when wolves chase you -- a defense against survival, at least. Leaves blow around and a soccer ball bounces down the road. "Get a grip, girl," Miranda says through gritted teeth. Then suddenly she's running toward her front door, WolfCam is freaking the fuck out, and she leaves the fence wide open to facilitate The Thing's entry onto her lawn. She bangs on the door and shrieks for her roommate, who either isn't home or wants to see how this ends, in case the wolf is interested in attacking her agent. As Miranda clutches the doorhandle, "something" grabs her ankle and pulls her into a horizontal position, then drags her backward so that the handle rips right off the door. She screams, and we see her being thrown over a railing and savaged doggie-style. This is symbolic of the hip new-look CBS telling its older viewers to go fuck themselves.

Wolf Lake

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