Wolf Lake
Excitable Boy

Episode Report Card
Heathen: C+ | 1 USERS: A+
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Excitable Boy

A diamond ring glitters under natural light. Tyler and a pretty female jeweler confer at a dark restaurant table, but Lou charges in and interrupts the moment. In fact, he says as much. "Am I interrupting a quintessential moment?" he asks. I'm sure that's fine usage, but something about it sounds completely wrong. I know what meaning they're going for, but I still feel like the word "intimate" belongs there instead of "quintessential." Maybe the writers work on dares to stay awake. I do enjoy the fact that Lou has caught Tyler buying an engagement ring that's clearly for Ruby. After a half-assed introduction, to Maureen the Jeweler, Ty says he didn't jump Miranda, but implies that he could charge her for assault because she punched him. "See, that kind of attitude just sets me off -- kick-starts this knee-jerk macho-cop roust mode," Lou snarls. And how, precisely, is that different from his regular attitude? Perhaps he's not typically a rousting man, preferring a gentle prod or, on weekends, a fomentation. "What is with me and the police?" Ty asks charmingly, beaming at Maureen. "What am I putting out there?" He jokes about getting his aura tweaked, which elicits a flirtatious smile from Maureen. Impishly, he asks Lou to opine about the diamond's cut and quality. "Expensive stuff," Lou observes. "She must be a special girl." Tyler smirks. "Isn't that what we're all looking for?" Hah! Tyler rules. Scott Bairstow is excellent with slime. As Lou trots out idiotically, Tyler waves goofily as a farewell.

Sherman and Sophia sit quietly in a diner booth. "Isn't there supposed to be, like, some sort of warning before everything goes totally Star Wars?" she winces. Sherman says that sensation is the warning. The whole experience has her completely confused as to what to do. "Depends," Sherman shrugs. "[On] the strength of your other universe." Sophia is scared of just how awesome her non-menopausal hot flash felt, then half-kids that Sherman really could pipe up with something reassuring. "It'll do wonders for your hair," he offers. She groans. On a serious note, Sherman promises Sophia that her inner strength will exceed all her expectations. This vexes her.

In her attic, Ruby rummages through old photos and pulls out a white satin dress. She dons it. Vivian creeps in behind her and informs us all that it's Ruby's mother's dress. "A lovely person she was," Vivian oozes. "Quiet and private and kind. And no one would argue if I added 'schizophrenic.'" Ruby whirls, fuming, and spits that Vivian has tried to poison her with that notion since she was nine years old. "Nothing like a wedding to bring out the best in everybody," Vivian says nonsensically. Ruby defiantly insists that she isn't getting married, but Vivian clearly thinks that she'll cave. "Your father will be very disappointed," Vivian says. "He's been very disappointed before," Ruby retorts, but she stops short of any deeply personal barb, which crushes me because I'd love to see what the writers could come up with about Sharon Lawrence and her buggy eyes. Vivian doesn't appreciate Ruby's animosity, given that she supported letting the girl stay in Seattle -- although, she only did so because she felt certain Ruby would come scampering back. Ruby tries to deny it, but Vivian spits that she absolutely would have left Seattle eventually because her life there was based on a lie. "I know you," insists Vivian. "Part of you is already bored keeping your secret, resisting your nature." Vivian reaches out to caress Ruby's cheek, but the stepdaughter jerks her face away. "We are clan, Ruby, and like it or not, we're incomplete without each other," Vivian intones. As Viv leaves, Ruby's blue eye-shadow stresses out and seriously considers reporting Ruby to the MAC police. Or applying a severe sMACkdown on her ass.

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Wolf Lake

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