Wolf Lake

Episode Report Card
Heathen: B- | 637 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Soup To Nuts

Big heard a piercing shriek, and realizes Mustache is missing. Calling his name over and over, Big realizes his pal is no longer in the cabin, so he opens the front door as well; on the lawn, he sees a slumped body in a pile. WolfCam. Big nudges the body, then recoils in horror just as Ty calls out, "Here. Catch." He tosses Big the severed head of his pal. "I didn't want you to give me head!" Big screams. Or he would have, if Ty hadn't chosen that moment to bear his fangs and pounce. Big's bloodcurdling scream takes us to commercial.

The murder site must not be in Wolf Lake proper, because although Donner is there, he acts like he was summoned by other authorities. He asks a cop on the scene if any Ergo Foods or Eyderdex logos were spotted in the cabin; the cop says no, but the whole place reeked of fried chicken, and the only such restaurant is in Wolf Lake. Ooooh. Donner then gets his hands on a Palm Pilot belonging to one of the victims. Inside his truck, he scans the information and finds a graphic depicting "the old tannery."

Donner, of course, goes to the tannery. Kneeling on the ground, he brushes the dirt away, and two seconds later uncovers a bin labeled "hazardous chemicals." That is the worst excuse for a toxic-waste dump I've ever seen. You could walk across it and kick up enough dirt to expose it. The sheriff then decides to walk inside Ye Olde Tannerie. It's dark inside, and being without a flashlight, Donner decides it's best to shut the door and therefore keep the room a dim, dangerous cavern of doom. WolfCam. Donner explores a green spill on the ground. WolfCam. Growling. Donner fingers his gun. "This looks like the beginning of a bad afternoon," a voice says from the darkness. It's Ty. "Storing hazardous waste on trustee land...that could spell the end of the promising career of a young tycoon like yourself," Donner warns him unthreateningly. Ty counters that, in fact, he'll be a hero when he pays to remove it all. He then admits this is where he wants to build his prison. Nice fiendish plot -- get money for toxic-waste shipments, spend it on removing it all to win the town's respect, then get his prison plan pushed forward. Oooh, that Ty. He is all hotness and smarts. Donner tries flashing around all his newfound knowledge about the dead waste-management men, but Ty just laughs. "Always chasing your tail," he says. Donner snipes that he's sick of Ty acting above-the-law. "What is it about those ungulates that makes you want to put them first?" wonders Ty. "Protect them...marry them..." Donner gets upset; Ty snarls that Donner was dumb to sacrifice everything for that "zoo bitch." Circling Donner, Ty dares the sheriff to shoot him. "I don't need a gun," Ty taunts. "I've got all the power I need right here...Want to beef? Bring it on, but let's put a little hair on it. Find out if the old man can still go native." Donner stands still, not rising to Ty's bait. Not without Blitzen. Ty basically calls him a big girl's blouse and sneers, "No wonder that daughter of yours can't wait to get a hill dude between her legs." Now, it's personal. Donner fires his gun five times, and Ty cringes; slowly, he turns to see five gunshot dents in the wall just centimeters past his ear. Donner tries to be menacing about having one bullet left, but Ty just laughs and says he could pounce and call it self-defense. He strolls away, singing, "You're all alone!"

Wolf Lake

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