Wolf Lake
The Changing

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Heathen: D+ | Grade It Now!
The Changing

So, a quick primer on the people before we get to the episode: Lou is Seattle detective John Kanin, and Ruby is his missing fiancée. Willard and Vivian are her parents; Luke is her brother. Donner is the sheriff of Wolf Lake, and Sherman is the science teacher/town sage. Sophia -- who I called Specs in the last recap because they didn't name her until the end -- is the sheriff's daughter. Sultry is a lounge singer. Luck be a lady. Finally, Ty is extremely hot, and he's some variety of bad-ass whose minions sometimes sell drugs. He's a wolf. Most of them are, except Lou, who's just hungry like one.

Over the noise of a police radio, we fade up on the sight of Lou at the Wolf Lake diner, staring at his laptop while eavesdropping on the officers. Right now, though, it's the Spice Channel -- Molly's boyfriend somehow tapped into the frequency and is begging her to come home, because he's all dressed up in a kilt for some role-playing and I suspect he wants a spanking. Lou jots down the address, jumps up, and screams, "Score!" But before he can hightail it out there to play Pin the Badge on the Buttocks, Sophia descends. She wonders if he's listening to the Mariners, but he shakes his head and says her father wouldn't approve of what he's listening to. "Even better," she grins. Lou shakes his head and expresses relief that he doesn't have a teenage daughter. "We're not so bad," Sophia says impishly, then leans forward and finishes, "As long as you give us everything we want," in a husky voice that suggests she wants a pound of Seattle sausage. It's a bit weird that there's sexual tension between this teenager and ol' Lou. God, with that last sentence, I suddenly feel like I'm recapping Making the Band all over again.

Suddenly, as Sophia leaves, Lou hears an officer report someone on the move through town. He's interested. Sultry walks over just then and plops down next to him. "Did it ever occur to you that nothing interesting ever happens in well-lighted places?" she says mysteriously. Bah. She watches too much television. He didn't hear her, so when he yanks off the headphones, she just asks for a bite of his pie. He slides it over -- pumpkin pie, with whipped cream. She dips her finger in the cream and sucks on it for a second, hoping Lou will get the innuendo and ask for a piece of her pie. He does not. I am grateful. The officer on the radio screams that the suspect is a five-foot-four Caucasian female, with brown hair and gray eyes, skin so white it makes cotton look dirty, and a honkin' rack. I applaud the officer who, running behind the suspect at the middle of the night, could ably identify her gray eyes. Sultry looks bored after seeing Ruby's photo on Lou's laptop. "Once you find her, it's all downhill," she sighs. The officer screams, "It's a runner; repeat, we've got a runner! A runner!" Brought to you by Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. Lou grabs his stuff and bolts, dropping five bucks on the table for the coffee, the pie, Sultry's company, and the handjob she was going to give him later. "Not a talker," she snips. "Oooookay."

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Wolf Lake




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