Wax Lion

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B- | Grade It Now!
Greetings From Wonderfalls

The Barrel. Jaye stuffs the wax lion into the centerpiece at the table as she waits. Sharon shows up: "This had better be good because I'm having a real hard time getting it up for your drama." Jaye orders Sharon a glass of wine. "You call that slimming?" she asks Sharon, giving her the once-over. Sharon asks how many people Jaye asked for dinner before she asked Sharon. Jaye: "None." Sharon sits: "Did you get fired again?" We learn that the UPS guy's name is Thomas. Jaye asks Sharon if she remembers talking to him today. Sharon says she vaguely remembers him, but that she didn't think he was particularly cute: "He's not my type." As Jaye goes on about how Sharon could do a lot worse, suddenly Thomas shows up. Jaye introduces Sharon to Thomas again. He gives Sharon some flowers and sits down. Jaye says that's so sweet, and then excuses herself to the bathroom. Sharon smiles at Thomas, who smiles back.

Jaye visits her bartender friend and asks for him to get her drunk. He looks at his tray of multi-colored shots and asks if she wants a Jell-O shooter. She asks if he has grape. He hands her one, and we hear Sharon off-camera say, "That's not the bathroom." Jaye leaves with her drink.

Swipe cut to Sharon and Thomas, not saying much. Thomas says that Jaye seems like she'd be a real nice sister. Sharon says Thomas seems like a very nice man, but that he should know that absolutely nothing is going to happen between them. Sharon says she was brought there under false pretenses. Thomas says that Jaye told him that Sharon thought he was cute. "She lied," says Sharon. "I don't."

Swipe cut to Jaye at the bar, saying she thought that if she could get her sister laid, the wax lion would shut up. Does Jaye really think it's a good idea to tell everyone that inanimate objects are controlling her life? The bartender gives a kind of shaky smile and asks, "You're just teasing about the lion, right?" Jaye says she is and takes a shot.

Swipe cut to Thomas and Sharon at the table. Thomas asks if it's his teeth. He says his ex used to complain about his teeth all the time, since the bottom ones are crooked. He pulls down his lower lip to show the crooked teeth: "See?" Everybody on this show has strangely spaced teeth. Why should he care? Sharon says his teeth aren't a big plus, but that they're not the dealbreaker. Thomas asks if it's because he's too sensitive. He says he thinks it makes him a really good kisser. Sharon says it's not him, it's her. Thomas: "That old chestnut." She says she'll tell him a secret if he promises not tell anyone: "I'm a lesbian. The reason I'm not attracted to you is because your genitals are on the outside." Thomas can't believe Sharon's even going to do the lesbian excuse.

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