Wax Lion

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B- | Grade It Now!
Greetings From Wonderfalls

Niagara Falls. Slowly, I turned...Sorry. That's the only time I'll do that. I got it out of the way in the pilot, okay? There. It's done. I did it. I said it. You knew it was coming. Gift shop. Jaye watches her show. "Don't get in the boat," she warns. The Princess gets in the boat. "Dumb-ass," Jaye sneers. Alec tells Jaye that if she's looking for something to do, the name patches need to be re-alphabetized. Jaye says she's folding. Alec argues that she isn't. But this is when Jaye's mom and Sharon arrive at the store. Mom says she hates to bother Jaye at work, but wants to know if everything's okay. Jaye says it's swell. Mom asks for the stolen monkey back. Dr. Ron is refusing to see Jaye's mother until he gets it back. Jaye lies that she didn't take the monkey. Mom tells Sharon not to smoke a cigarette: "Aren't your fingertips yellow enough?" Sharon goes outside to smoke. Mom tells Jaye that Dr. Ron has a security camera in his office, so he knows Jaye took the monkey. Jaye says she does have the monkey, then. Mom notices Sharon outside talking to the cute UPS guy. I don't want to call him "Poor Bitch." She tells Jaye to give Dr. Ron back his monkey. She then takes a closer look at her daughter. She seems not to notice the black eye. She says it's time to do something different with Jaye's hair, and says they should have a salon day together soon. She kisses Jaye on the forehead and leaves. The UPS guy enters and tells Jaye that her sister is hot. The wax lion tells Jaye that he thinks Jaye's sister is hot. The UPS guy repeats: "Your sister? Wow!" Jaye turns to the wax lion. "Make me a match," he says. Jaye leans in and points at the wax lion, telling him that he can't talk, since he doesn't have a larynx. "Make," the lion starts, but Jaye shushes him with her finger.

Jaye's trailer. Night. The lion is singing a song. "Sharon and Poor Bitch sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love. Then comes marriage. Then comes Poor Bitch with a baby carriage." Jaye tries to sleep, but it's not working.

Morning. Trailer. Jaye now looks homicidal as the lion sings the word "Sharon" to the song "Daisy." Jaye screams at the wax lion: "If I do this will you SHUT UP?" The lion keeps singing. Jaye throws something heavy at the lion, knocking him off the table (he makes a sound like he felt that). From inside the trash can, we hear his echoed words: "Make me a match." Jaye pouts with her eyes wide.

The passage of time is shown with messages Jaye leaves for Sharon. We see Sharon's message book, with repeated urgent messages from her sister. Jaye tells Sharon to be at The Barrel at 8 tonight. Then: "Wear something slimming."

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