Wound-Up Penguin

Episode Report Card
Pamie: F | 2 USERS: A+
All The Fun Of An Exorcism

Precinct. Katrina tells a cop that she'd never hurt anyone. The cop's not buying it. Katrina says she thought that God was guiding her, but that she was wrong. "You on any meds?" the cop asks. Ask her if she's lactose-intolerant.

Jaye waits on a bench. Father Scoffield shows up. Jaye's all, "Oh, my God! They called you? I thought for sure you left town already." Jaye says she's not pressing charges. Oh, how nice of her: "She was just confused." And she did tell her to do it. She tells Father Scoffield that he was right about exorcisms. Father Scoffield says, "I had a child I didn't know about." They just let Katrina go, and she walks into the lobby here as Jaye -- and pretty much anyone watching this episode -- asks, "Come again?" Katrina says they're letting her go. She apologizes to Father Scoffield for not listening to him. "It's a girl," says Father Scoffield. "He has a kid he didn't know about," says Jaye. "How?" asks Katrina. "In the usual way," Father Scoffield answers. "I wasn't always a priest." He says he had no idea, because the woman he was with was on The Pill. "She must have been looking for me all this time." He says they pulled him over for a broken taillight and ran his name: "I'm a deadbeat dad." Katrina tells Jaye, "Broken taillight?"

Then suddenly there's the woman, named Marta. She apologizes for filing the complaint, but says she couldn't find him: "I guess I was looking in the wrong place." Then there's the daughter, who's, like, seven. "Joe, this is Sadie," says Marta. Crazy cheesy violins kick in and we're watching a different show entirely. And then, ensuring that Sadie will have a fucked-up adolescence that will cause her to sleep with hundreds of guys and maybe become a successful standup comic, Father Scoffield crouches down (in slow motion!) and says, "Hi, Sadie. I'm Father...I'm your father." Sadie looks up at her mom, who nods that this is true, and everyone's happy except for anybody in the real world who knows this shit needs a counselor pronto. Sadie smiles, as if this is only the third guy who has said this to her. Jaye whispers, "Bring her back to him. Wow!" Now, the penguin only added those last three words later in the episode. Whatever. Katrina cries and calls this a miracle. Or perhaps, a by-product of casual sex. Ah, the wonders of failed contraceptives told through the eyes of a half-realized television show. God truly works in mysterious ways.

Jaye walks Katrina through the train station, asking if she needs a cheesy dog before hitting the road. Katrina hugs Jaye hard. Jaye asks if she's trying to squeeze the demons out of her. Katrina says she shouldn't joke: "A miracle happened because of you!" Do we need this scene? I vote no. Jaye says it was a happy coincidence. Katrina says she knows what happened. Man, that Eric is stilted. He hands Katrina a ticket and says, "Here! This'll get you back to the convent. One-way ticket! Are you sure?" Katrina nods, "I'm sure." She hugs Jaye again. Eric and Father Scoffield (where's your kid, dude?) watch. Katrina tells the priest -- who's now not a priest anymore because, you know, he's got a kid to see every other weekend -- that she'll miss him. He thanks her for making him chase her to Niagara Falls. Katrina says it was her pleasure. She leaves for her train. Eric and Jaye stand alone. Eric says it turns out she was right. Jaye says she almost never hears that sentence. Eric apologizes for getting "so weird." He says he might have been projecting some of his issues onto her. "Ya think?" asks Jaye. Eric says he has every right to be there, but that he still feels a little guilty about not going back. Jaye asks what it feels like now. They listen to a train announcement. "It feels like there's a train every hour," says Eric. So he can go at any time? They smile and walk away together, deciding to get a cheesy dog. The camera pulls up to the top of the station, and that's it.

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