Wound-Up Penguin

Episode Report Card
Pamie: F | 2 USERS: A+
All The Fun Of An Exorcism

View-Master establishing shots of Niagara Falls. Wonderfalls. Jaye's on the phone behind the counter, telling Eric she doesn't think there is a next move. Jaye is currently wearing the winner of the Ugliest Sweater in America (Canada) Contest 2004. It's part pumpkin, part couch, and all fugly. And at some point the Wax Lion went from red to orange. Maybe it caught Jaye's sweater's disease. Jaye gives a side glance toward the Wax Lion as she asks what more could they possibly do. Eric says they might need to find the Man in Black instead. Jaye says, "I think it would be like looking for an Irish Johnny Cash in a...." Jaye trails off, because standing before her is the Irish Johnny Cash. We know so because they play "I Walk the Line" in the background, surprisingly not on bagpipes. (Yes, I know those are Scottish.) "Haystack," Jaye finishes. She hangs up. Irish Johnny Cash says he saw several public notices in the shop window and was wondering if Jaye would add another one. He hands her a flyer. "MISSING," it reads across the top. There's a picture of their missing woman. Wow, sometimes it's just so easy! "Woman," it says. "Late 20's, Early 30's. Blond Hair, Blue-Green Eyes, 5'5" Tall, 105 Pounds. Missing Since Last Saturday at 9am." Wait, so he doesn't know her name, either? Then why does he have a picture of her? He doesn't know her age, and pretty much gave all physical description...why do I care? Why do I try to make logic happen where there is none? Irish Johnny Cash. Moving on. Jaye sneers at IJC when he says, "I'd be so grateful." He smiles at her, and the music gets creepier. He walks away. Jaye lifts the flyer in front of the camera, so that I can't see what's happening.

"And then he smiled," Jaye tells Eric. I guess she just left work to bring him the flyer. "Ew!" says Eric. "Right!" says Jaye. I guess they've made some conclusions about IJC and the Woman, even though we know NOTHING. Hey, maybe you could ask Mysterious Janitor some more questions, since he's apparently omnipotent. Eric: "Katrina. That's her name." Really, Eric? Because I didn't see that on the flyer. Jaye then makes this brilliant conclusion: "No last name. She's a prostitute." You get a degree with those deductive-reasoning skills of yours, Jaye? In philosophy? Good thing you've got an open mind for seeing all sides of the equation. "And he's her pimp. Her goth pimp. She tried to leave the lifestyle and he won't let her." Eric gets on the phone. Jaye asks what he's doing. He's using the phone. ["It just looks to you like that's what he's doing because you didn't go to BROWN." -- Wing Chun] Eric says he's calling Johnny. He finds out that the number is for a hotel, room 231. "231 is a room number!" Eric says, kind of like he's the dumbest man on Earth. "At least he's not living in a barrel," says Jaye. Are these jokes? Eric calls the hotel again. "Yeah, cat stepped on the phone," he tells the operator. He asks if anyone is staying in the room next to 231. They can't tell him that. Also, if this were a real hotel, when he asked for 231, they would have asked the name of the party. Wonder Killer Complete! Jaye looks impressed that Eric fired all those synapses in a row.

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