Wonderland
Pilot

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Still Crazy After Just One Hour

Lyla's getting an ultrasound as Neil works the phones, demanding lab work on Wendell's blood to check for HIV and hepatitis and telling them to page Banger. At the play panel, Bobby is down to his undershirt, and the psychiatrists giggle as both sons dive for Bobby's shoe. As a wingtip slides across the table, Bobby is asked to describe his work in his own words. The other shoe hits the table, and Bobby says, "I am the keeper of the gate." Bobby has a Lou Reed tattoo on his arm. His pager beeps, and he reveals that the CPEC doctors call it "barbarian's gate," off the record, of course. "When the pressures of modern society become to great for a person, when one's chemical dynamic becomes such that they are unbalanced, that they cease painting within the lines, they come to us. These are the people that society would prefer just go away." More beeping. "The shadow people. The shadow people that project upon us their shadow, and remind us just how tenuous mental health is. Our worst fears. They remind us how easy it can be to slip." Darn tootin', Reverend Banger.

Indicating an off-the-charts degree of dependency, Mr. B explains that he can't function or breathe without his wife. Bursting the bubble of Mr. B's despair, Abe points out that Mr. B is currently breathing, and is interrupted by an emergency phone call. As he exits the interrogation room, a patient accosts him, and we see Mr. Giuliani making a mess at the lemonade cooler. Tubby roommate Court, kindly attired in briefs and an open bathrobe, is on the line, with the sad news that Abe's concubine, AWOL from a Victoria's Secret photo shoot, has gone ballistic and is destroying the apartment. Seems she's mad at Abe because she checked out his supply of rubbers and he's "three short." Is she mad because they're missing or because that's his size? The spurned vixen starts cursing in the language of her homeland and smashes a chair through the coffee table.

Lyla's post-injection exam continues, and she commands the female doctor to tell her what's up. "Active movement, some bleeding," she says. "I think I may be seeing trauma in the cranial area." Lyla sobs; Neil asks if the needle entered through the skull, but the doctor can't be sure. She does know there's a significant amount of hemorrhaging, and recommends summoning someone from neural radiology.

Mr. B starts talking about principles and codes of conduct, wondering if there's anything in Abe's life, that, if taken away, would make life unbearable, unthinkable. During Mr. B's speech, Neil walks through the hospital corridors, a sour look on his face, and lunges at Wendell, grabbing his throat. "Are you that kind of man, Doctor? Are you willing to let someone get that far inside?" asks Mr. B (Neil having already offered his response to the query). Mr. B says he let someone get very, very deep inside, as cops restrain Neil and he struggles from their grasp and walks from whence he came.

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Wonderland

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