Fall Pilot Season: Worst Week
Angela's worried about Dick going out after such a big fall. Speaking of which, Angela wants to show them something special. Down in the basement, and covered in a sheet, is Dick's birthday present. It's an oil painting of Dick in his judge's robe. Commissioned from the guy who does the presidents. That must have cost a pretty penny. And it's ugly.
Out on the street Dick's wandering the street with a big bandage on his head. He's wobbling around. He collapses on the sidewalk (unconvincingly). In front of the funeral home. Of course. The funeral home knows Judge Clayton, and is happy to accommodate him. He needs to lie down. He gets sent to the back to the funeral prep table... The funeral home calls the Clayton house and the only person who is available to answer the phone for some insane reason is Sam. He picks it up. Hewitt's, the undertaker, is calling to tell the family that Mr. Clayton collapsed and they've got him in the back room. They are deliberately vague. And since Sam is deliberately stupid, he concludes the judge is dead.
In walk Angela and Mel. He tells them that Dick is dead. Meanwhile, Dick is all refreshed and leaves Hewitt's ignoring the staff telling him that someone's coming to get him. He doesn't want to be late for his meeting.
Mel's crying on the couch, upset that she didn't get to tell her dad about the baby. She wants to name their son "Dick. Sam is kind of a jerk about it and says it's something they can talk about. Um, she's grieving? But just then Angela finally puts two and two together and starts blaming Sam's urine on the floor for Dick's untimely demise. Yay, someone is finally rationally responding to a situation. Sam offers to go to "the undertakers" and handle the paperwork.
He gets to Hewitt to identify the body. An employee who wasn't there before takes him out to the back room to see the corpse. Sam doesn't want to see the dead body. The stupid employee tells him that he gets squeamish, too. There's some nonsensical banter about wanting to be a chef. They have to look at several bodies, one apparently disgusting. Staffer walks off to answer a call, telling Sam to look at the last one. Sam spots Dick's glasses, again, puts two and two together to make a false assumption and says that it's him.
Back at the house, Angela's crying and looking at Dick's favorite little pet birds. Sam walks in and gives her the glasses he found. He took care of all the arrangements. Suddenly Angela thinks of Mel's brother, who is in Nairobi. Angela can't have that conversation. Mel can't handle it either. They ask Sam to do it. He does think it would be weird, but doesn't say no. So he places the international call to David Clayton. They have a bad connection. Of course. Sam starts screaming "He's dead!" (repeatedly) into the phone, so loudly that Angela starts wailing. Mel runs in to stop him. She actually seems somewhat upset, and sends him on an errand to get a prescription before the pharmacy closes. He heads off, driving wildly. He drops the prescription bottle and gets in a car accident.