Office party. It looks pretty swanky. Sam (played by somewhat newcomer Kyle Bornheimer) picks up his cell phone. It's Melanie (showkiller Erinn Hayes). She says that he should ditch his boring party and come to her parents' house early (she apparently forgot that he's the all-important iPod DJ). He's like, "No, once I make plans I stick to those plans, because I'm an irrational tool." At which point drunk girl Nicky (Tamara Mello... who used to be so cute on Popular ... time has not been so kind to her cuteness) stumbles over with two pink martini-ish drinks and a giggle. Melanie's like "who's that?" Sam's like, "No one." Mel's on to his game and thinks that he doesn't realize when girls are flirting with him. He says Nicky isn't flirting, just randomly kissing him, which is totally not flirting at all. Mel's being all prissy and reminds him that it's very important he not be late. Then hangs up.
Mel's at her house staring sullenly at the phone when her mom, Angela (Nancy Lenehan, who is really cute as Earl's mom on My Name is Earl) walks in with Mel's dad (Kurtwood Smith, a.k.a. Red Foreman from That '70s Show). Angela's all babbling about the special birthday goose she's got cooking for her husband Dick. It takes like two days to brine (or something that involves it being left out, which sounds unsanitary if you ask me). Dick's like, all I wanted was a steak with my family. He's disgruntled because Angela cared about him and invited 60 people over and made a goose. Tonight is roast, and, of course... the aforementioned pie. Who wants to bet something happens to that goose, or that pie? Come on. It's like blatantly obvious sitcom foreshadowing here. The parents finally notice that Mel's being awfully quiet. Dad asks if it was her "friend" on the phone and if he upset her. No, he's just a moron, but she loves him. And his name is Sam, not "her friend." Angela says she likes her friend. It's not so sincere.
Out on a darkened street, Sam's heading out of his party. Leaving a disturbing message for Angela about wanting to dig into her mother's cherry pie. Now I have Warrant stuck in my head... pardon me while I go dig out my old cassette tapes from high school for a minute. To Sam's credit, he does realize that it sounded dirty. But just then drunk Nicky pulls up in her car. He doesn't think she should be driving, and she proves his point by driving it backwards and crashing. He gets a cab, says they are making two stops. I don't know where this show is supposed to be set, but it clearly isn't New York, because the driver didn't give them the dirtiest look of all time, pick up his cell phone, and start complaining about his passengers in another language.