WWF Smackdown
D-I-V-O-R-C-E

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Linda, Call Your Lawyer!

The show opens with a clip package for all of you who missed RAW on Monday. Vince McMahon returned to give a "State of the WWF" speech. Vince met with each of the wrestlers involved in Sunday's "Six Man Hell in The Cell" match and encouraged them all to tell Mick Foley that they don't want to be in the match. Kurt Angle tried to get Rikishi and Triple H to team up with him for the purposes of the match. Mick Foley refused to cancel the match. Stone Cold came out to the ring and give Vince the Stunner. The Rock came out and gave Vince the Rock Bottom. The Undertaker came out and gave Vince the Last Ride. Vince was left a broken man in the ring. Damn. All of Vince's billions and the man still has to take those bumps? Backstage, Triple H, Rikishi, and Kurt Angle ambushed Stone Cold, The Rock, and The Undertaker.

Triple H, Rikishi, Kurt Angle, and Stephanie pull up in a limo. Mick Foley tells them that they each have a one-day suspension, and they get back in their limo and leave. Not so fast, Kurt. Mick tells him that he has to stay and defend his title against The Rock, The Undertaker, and Stone Cold -- all at once. Yes, it's a Fatal Four Way. Tonight.

Chyna comes out with her rocket launcher, or whatever that thing is supposed to be. Billy Gunn, the new Intercontinental Champion, joins her. They will be taking on Val Venis and Ivory in an intergender tag match. We see a flashback of these four mixing it up on RAW, where Val Venis clotheslined Chyna over the announce table. Chris Benoit comes out to distract Billy Gunn. Ivory takes advantage of the interruption to brain Chyna with the title belt. Val Venis pins Chyna. Outside the ring, Benoit slaps the Crippler Crossface on Billy Gunn. Why Benoit? Oh yeah, he's going to take on Gunn at the Pay-Per-View. Otherwise, that made no sense.

Dean Malenko is going on a date with Lita. He beat her in a match on RAW and this is what she gets for losing. Dean looks like the poor man's Billy Joel. ["Wow, that's sad for both Dean and Billy Joel." -- Wing Chun] Dean goes to pick her up, and the Hardy Boyz are there. They try to talk, which they really shouldn't do. It's sad. I want the Hardyz to be over so badly, but every time they talk it just makes me sad. Anyway, they warn Dean not to lay a hand on Lita, and the couple leaves for their date. Lita has a pretty dress on, marred only by the giant tattoo that takes up her entire shoulder. Classy.

Back from commercial, the announcers discuss the upcoming Pay-Per-View. We get to see a promo that The Rock cut on RAW, where he imitated all of his competitors in the Hell in the Cell match. Okay, I thought it was funny. The Rock is funny when he doesn't rely on his overplayed catchphrases too much. After the promo, Stone Cold comes down to the ring. Stone Cold trash-talks all of his competitors, predictably, and vows to "suffer and bleed and suffer and bleed some more," in order to win the WWF title. Kurt Angle comes out to the top of the ramp and starts talking. Stone Cold chucks a beer at him. No, he really did. Kurt starts talking again. Stone Cold chucks another beer at him. Kurt talks. Stone Cold chucks a beer. Talking. Beer-chucking. Talking. Beer-chucking. The crowd goes wild. Kurt tries one last time and Stone Cold throws another beer. Kurt finally leaves, and Stone Cold chases him up the ramp, throwing beers all the way.

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WWF Smackdown

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