WWF Smackdown
Dysfunctional Family Picnic

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Vince McEvil

More Armageddon redux. Mick Foley promised to resign if anyone was seriously injured. On RAW, Vince showed up to collect on that promise. Vince gave a big speech in the middle of the ring, designed to extract maximum guilt from Mick, even mentioning that Mick's supposed to be spending his retirement with his kids. Ooh, that Vince knows how to push buttons. Vince handed Mick a letter of resignation to sign. William Regal (why?) came out and claimed to speak for all of the WWF superstars in demanding Mick's resignation. Stone Cold came out and got the audience to give a "Hell, yeah!" for Mick Foley remaining the commissioner. Stone Cold gave Regal a Stunner. Foley pulled out Socko. Socko! And then he ripped up the resignation letter.

Stephanie talks to Mick and Debra about her mother, Linda. Steph claims that Linda has been very ill since Vince brought up the divorce. Mick feels responsible. Stephanie says that when Mick "eggs" Vince on, Vince takes it out on Linda, so Steph asks Mick to "lighten up on Vince." Mick says he'll try, out of respect for Linda.

In the first match, new Tag Team Champions Edge and Christian (introduced as "Christian and Edge," which is just wrong) take on the Dudley Boyz. It's a non-title match, which is just a waste of time. Why bother? Edge does a good job of keeping his persona throughout the match. So many of the wrestlers put on their persona to walk down to the ring, but then put on some bland wrestling. Edge keeps the "not too bright but cocky" thing going throughout the match. Edge and Christian also both do a fantastic job of selling the Dudley Boyz' moves. The Dudleyz get the 3D on Christian. Edge sneaks into the ring and clocks Buh Buh Ray with the title belt when the ref isn't looking. Christian pins Buh Buh for the win. Of course, it's a non-title match, so who cares?

A limo pulls up, and Vince gets out with Brisco and Patterson. Brisco wants to know what Vince is going to do to Mick Foley tonight. Foley shows up and requests that they find a way to peacefully co-exist. Vince can't believe that a guy who "took a nasty, rotten sock from [his] crotch and stuffed it down [his] throat" wants to co-exist. Vince says he'll "give it consideration." Vince is really working the "evil genius" thing this week -- he's wearing his overcoat like a cape. Between that and the wheelchair from last week, he's practically Mr. Potter in It's A Wonderful Life.

Kurt Angle comes down to the ring and takes the microphone. Kurt thinks he has earned the crowd's respect. When they boo him, he starts ripping on Arkansas. Boy, people hate him. He's such a great heel. Angle compares Mick Foley's refusal to resign to Bill Clinton lying about his affair with Monica. Was there any doubt that Angle would come down on Vince's side in this thing? God, I would love to see Angle join up with Stephanie and rule the WWF by Vince's side. How smug and evil would they be?

Mick Foley comes out and tells Angle to shut his mouth. Foley claims that everyone used to love Kurt, because he's an Olympic hero, but then people got to know him, and now they hate him. Mick decides to examine the so-called injuries resulting from the Hell in The Cell. Triple H, he claims, is suffering from injuries accumulated over years of wrestling. Rikishi wouldn't have been injured at all if not for Vince driving a truck down to ringside. Well, that's a sad justification. Foley claims that if Vince were in charge of the WWF, things would be "a whole lot worse." William Regal comes down -- and the announcers are as mystified as I am regarding why he is getting involved. Regal claims that Foley has not been around to help them, and "lets the hooligans run rampant." Foley decides to punish Regal and Angle by setting up a tag team match for them with The Rock and Stone Cold.

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WWF Smackdown

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