WWF Smackdown
Long On Talk, Short On Wrestling

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The Hell (In A Cell)?

As the show begins, we see the following people meeting with Mick Foley individually: Stone Cold, The Rock, The Undertaker, Rikishi, and Triple H. Foley is promising each wrestler that he will get a shot at the WWF Championship at Armageddon on December 10th. That's crazy talk! What is Foley up to? I'm sure we'll find out tonight.

The first bout is a Six Man Intergender Tag Team Match. Shouldn't that be "Six Person," since it's Intergender? Is “Intergender” even a word? Anyway, the Hardyz plus Lita will be taking on Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero, and Perry Saturn. Wow, that's weird that only one team has a lady on it. I mean, it's cool, but very unlike the WWF. The King suggests that Dean Malenko has a little crush on Lita. He's like twice her age, isn't he? Apparently, they finally have a name for the move where one of the Hardyz gets on his hands and knees, and the other uses his back as a springboard. It's called "Poetry In Motion." Lita does it, except she does a hurricanerana too. It was pretty cool. Matt does a Twist of Fate. Jeff does that "running along the barrier" thing. Lita does a Moonsault onto Dean Malenko, and pins him, but Eddie Guerrero frog-splashes her when the ref isn't looking, and the Radical team gets the win.

Mick Foley stops playing Connect Four (no, really) and starts walking somewhere. But where?

We are reminded that on RAW, The Rock was fighting Rikishi for top contender status. Kurt Angle interfered in the match, so a disqualification was named. Thus, there is no official number-one contender. Mick Foley is coming out to set things straight. We are further reminded that on RAW, Kane was fighting his brother The Undertaker, and Angle and Edge and Christian interfered in that match as well. And then, Stone Cold was about to beat Kurt Angle and win the WWF belt, and Triple H interfered. So the theme of the night was interference, clearly. Mick Foley gets into the ring and takes the mike. Foley says that Angle is a "conniving, double-talking, sniveling liar," but he is right about the WWF. Foley reviews all of the crazy shit that's happened this year in the WWF. Mick brings up the fact that Angle interfered in the number-one contender match on Monday night. Foley could have scheduled a rematch, but he knew there would be interference in that as well. So, he decided to name five number-one contenders. The first one is The Rock, who makes his way out to the ring.

The Rock gets on the mic and does his schtick. Rocky tells Foley that he's confused, because he's supposed to be the number-one contender. But, The Rock ultimately doesn't care, as long as he gets a title shot at Armageddon. Foley says that there's someone else who got screwed -- the Undertaker, because he probably would have won it at Survivor Series if it weren't for Kurt Angle's lookalike brother.

Cue the Undertaker's music. 'Taker says pretty much what Rocky said -- he just wants a shot at the title. Foley announces another guy who deserves a shot -- Stone Cold Steve Austin. Cue glass breaking and the entrance of Stone Cold. Good God, how much time are they going to take setting up a match that doesn't even happen for another week and a half? Rikishi comes out and stands at the top of the ramp, and Triple H joins him at Foley's insistence. Foley tells these five men (to review, Rocky, Stone Cold, Undertaker, Rikishi, and Triple H) that their lives are all intertwined, and he's sick of it. He wants to solve the "WWF Championship puzzle" with no run-ins and a guaranteed end. Foley says they all agreed to "no physical altercations" that night, unless it's part of a match booked by Foley. Then Foley announces that all six men will be battling it out for the WWF title at Armageddon, in a Hell in a Cell match. What? That really is crazy talk. How will all six of these men fit in a cell? Will you be able to tell what's going on? Won't it just look like a giant clusterfuck?

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