The show starts with some pyrotechnics (as always) and our friend JR hypes us all up for the upcoming matches, and tells us that Stone Cold Steve Austin has not yet arrived at the arena. I scan the signs in the audience, looking for a funny one to report to y'all, but they're pretty boring. The best I can do is, "Wanna See My Lethal Weapon?" Yeah, I told you they weren't that good.
The first match will be the Dudley Boyz Tag Team Table Elimination Invitational. Howard Finkel explains the rules -- basically, two teams go at it. When one member of a team gets put through a table, that team loses. The losing team leaves the ring, and the winning team stays in the ring to face another opponent. There are five teams total. Got it?
The first team is Too Cool, and I just noticed that they have new entrance music. I guess Rikishi got custody of the old music when they split up. It's strictly BYOT -- Bring Your Own Tables. JR and Lawler discuss the fact that Stone Cold isn't there yet, and that Stephanie guaranteed that Kurt Angle would win the next WWF Championship. The opponents, Lo-Down, finally enter the ring with their table. Lawler points out that Edge and Christian would have been great in this match. JR says that they were supposed to be, but they were "feeling under the weather." Scotty Too Hotty jumps on Chaz and puts him through a table. At about the same time, D-Lo goes to jump on Sexay on a table, but Sexay rolls out of the way, leaving D-Lo to go crashing through the table. Match over, and Too Cool gets to stay in the ring. The next team is Tazz and Raven. Thankfully, they use Tazz's music as they walk in. Maybe the WWF got my memo about Raven's lame music. At one point, Scotty Too Hotty does the Worm underneath a table, like a mini-Worm. Soon after, Tazz suplexes Scotty through a table, eliminating Too Cool. Next out are the Dudley Boyz. JR reminds us that pinfalls and submissions are irrelevant in this match. After a quick beatdown, the crowd goes wild when Buh Buh Ray calls for D-Von to "get the table!" A short while later, D-Von lands on Tazz, putting him through a table. So, the final part of the match is the Dudleyz versus Bull Buchanan and the Good Father, from Right To Censor. Bull Buchanan goes to clothesline Buh Buh Ray, who ducks, and Bull ends up taking out the ref. As the ref lies unconscious on the mat, Buh Buh puts Bull through a table. Of course, there is no referee to call the match. Good Father sneaks in and hits Buh Buh with a chair, causing him to fall on the broken table. Good Father drags Bull out of the ring, so that the ref wakes up and thinks Buh Buh went through the table. Another ref comes out and argues, so the original ref says that the match will be continued. The Dudleyz get a 3-D on the Good Father, through the table, and end up winning the tournament. It's only fitting since it was their invitational, I guess.
Trish is talking to Test and Albert in the bathroom. Trish says that the "plan is in place." Test and Albert make some dumb remarks about her breasts falling out of her shirt. Snore. Cut to a close-up on Rikishi, who is walking around the arena with a sledgehammer. JR and Lawler discuss how Rikishi has promised to turn Austin into "Stone Cold Roadkill." Lawler asks where Stone Cold is, anyway, and JR says that he guarantees that Stone Cold will be there. We flash back to last Sunday, where Test, Albert, and Trish got involved in a strip poker game with the Acolytes. When T & A ran out of money, Trish started to strip. As the Acolytes were distracted, T & A beat them up. Then, on RAW, Trish tried to kiss Bradshaw to distract him from the match. It didn't really work. Finally, on Smackdown, the Acolytes rescued Lita from a beating at the hands of T & A and Trish.