WWF Smackdown
Royal Rumble Pay Per View

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Rumble in the Bayou

It's Al Snow at number eight. He came down a little early, I guess. The refs won't let him get into the ring until it's time. Al, Raven, and Kane use garbage-can lids to clock each other. Al rolls a bowling ball into Raven's crotch. Raven and Al Snow hit Kane about ten times with garbage cans, but Kane will not fall down. The countdown begins.

Perry Saturn is number nine. Terri accompanies him to the ring. Saturn gets into the ring, and things are getting a little crowded. All three men gang up on Kane. And who will be next?

Number ten is Steve Blackman and his kendo sticks. Someone has got to go soon, because this is getting confusing.

Number eleven is Grandmaster Sexay. Now it's just a mess with six men in the ring, all fighting in various combinations. Kane uses a garbage can to knock Grandmaster Sexay out first. Then, he tosses Blackman out. Two down, three to go. Kane gets rid of Al Snow, and then Raven. Perry Saturn doesn't have a chance. He goes over, leaving Kane alone in the ring just in time for the next wrestler.

And it's...the Honkytonk Man? Also known as Jerry Lawler's cousin, of course. Honkytonk Man offers to sing a song. I go to get some more chips, because this is boring. Kane watches while Honkytonk Man sings a song, and then tosses him out. Meanwhile, he waits for the next entrant.

The Rock is number thirteen. I'm really surprised to see The Rock so early! Kane tosses The Rock around the ring until it's time for the next entrant, which is...

The Good Father at number fourteen. The Rock gives him some punches and then tosses him over the top rope. Well, that was quick. The Rock and Kane grapple some more while we all wait for the countdown, because you know that neither of these guys is going to get eliminated so early.

Tazz is number fifteen. Tazz comes up to Kane's armpit. Kane knocks Tazz out in less than five seconds. Good. I hate Tazz. Kane goes back to working over The Rock. Rocky tries to lift Kane out, but he can barely pick Kane up, much less toss him out.

Number sixteen is Bradshaw. I like Bradshaw and all, but he's so flabby. Next to The Rock and Kane, he just looks like a tub of goo.

Albert is number seventeen. The four men in the ring beat on each other. I don’t know why they all don't team up to get rid of Kane, because he would be the hardest to get over the ropes. Then again, Albert is no lightweight, and neither is Bradshaw.

The next wrestler into the ring is Hardcore Holly at number eighteen. We're more than halfway through the action! Lawler must be reading my mind, because he suggests that they team up to get rid of Kane. The Rock nearly gets Kane out, but Kane rolls back in under the bottom rope.

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WWF Smackdown

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