Previously in the WWF: Stone Cold vowed to find the man who ran him down with a car. His investigation techniques consisted of administering a beatdown accompanied by a strobe light. Ow! My eyes! Many Stunners were handed out. Stone Cold said that "everyone is guilty until proven innocent." Shane McMahon interfered in various matches between The Rock and Chris Benoit. Triple H stuck his big nose in where it didn't belong, and ended up costing Benoit the match. Then, Kurt Angle started beating on Triple H, and Stephanie defended her husband. Ultimately, Benoit head butted Stephanie, and Angle refused to help her. Is their "friendship" over?
Credits. I could really do without the shot of Rikishi's posterior. ["No kidding. That guy could have a second career as a dietary aid." -- Sars]
Smackdown! is in Pittsburgh, PA. Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler wonder if Stone Cold will successfully complete his investigation this week. Mick Foley's music hits, and he enters the ring as the announcers wonder what Foley's role is in the investigation, since he's Commissioner and all. Lawler compares Foley to Barney Fife. Foley looks like he ate Barney Fife! Mick addresses the audience, reminding them of his historic "Hell In A Cell" match, which took place in Pittsburgh (cheap pop). Foley thinks it's great that Stone Cold is back, but he disagrees with Austin's investigative means, e.g. giving out Stunners. Foley warns Austin that he has to play by the Commissioner's rules or else. Chris Benoit comes out as the announcers wonder if he's going to assault the Commissioner right there -- because he's craaazy. They are pushing this "Rabid Wolverine" thing so hard, and I'm just not buying it. Whatever. Benoit gets on the microphone, saying that Foley is a terrible Commissioner, and has "completely lost control." Benoit says he had The Rock beat, but in the WWF, it's "not aboot [sic] who is the better wrestler" (hee! He's Canadian!), or Foley would have retired a long time ago. Um, isn't Foley retired? I don't know why I expect these speeches to make any sense. Anyway, Benoit demands a match with The Rock with no outside interference. It takes Benoit about twenty minutes to say so. Yap, yap, yap. Shut up, Benoit!
Benoit finally wraps it up, just in time for "Pittsburgh's own Kurt Angle" to enter the ring. Angle kisses up to Foley while rolling his eyes behind Mick's back. Angle suggests a match between himself and Triple H, because his "hometown fans" deserve it. The crowd cheers. Angle goes on to say that all of the sports teams in Pittsburgh suck, "and that is true." I think the crowd was supposed to turn on him here, but they cheer him instead. Angle says that many of the people in the crowd are "out on bail just to see [him] and that is true." Angle goes on to rip on Benoit for physically attacking Stephanie, the daughter of the owner, and demands that Foley fine and suspend Benoit. Benoit calls Angle a clown, and Angle asks why, if Benoit is "the best damn wrestler in the business," he doesn't have any gold medals. Jerry Lawler points out that "we all know Canadians don't win gold medals." Ha! I love Jerry Lawler. As an announcer, not a wrestler, though.