Mick Foley is playing checkers against a stuffed animal. Just work with me here, people. I don't create the storylines -- I just recap them. Some British guy comes up and claims that Stone Cold assaulted him on RAW. Oh yeah. This guy started quoting Shakespeare in the middle of the ring, and Austin came out and knocked him down. Foley claims that the guy went wrong in quoting Hamlet, when he should have quoted Henry VIII, because that's Austin's favorite. Foley drops some Shakespeare science on the guy, but Brit Guy says that Austin and the guys backstage all think that Foley is a joke, and they don't have any respect for him. Ooh, hit a sore spot there. Foley vows to show them he's not a joke.
Register to vote! Stephanie McMahon says so. I do think it's admirable that the WWF is registering voters, though. It's just funny to see Stephanie tell me I should vote.
Foley comes out and sets up a chair at the top of the ramp, and sits in it. Then Al Snow's music starts. This week, Snow (the European champion) is representing France. He comes out with a French poodle, wearing a beret, carrying a loaf of French bread and some French fries. ["'And to drink...Peru!'" -- Sars] He presents Lawler with a picture of Pepe LePew. Hee! Al Snow is funny. His opponent will be X-Pac. Have I mentioned that I hate X-Pac? I really, really, really do. My friend Justin calls him "the Neon Gnome." X-Pac grabs the picture of Pepe Lepew and smashes it. Ooh, you're such a man. I'm heartened to hear the "X-Pac Sucks!" chant start up in the crowd. Throughout the match, they show Foley sitting at the top of the ramp, and boy, he has gained weight since he retired. Just as X-Pac starts his trademark jig around the ring, Austin's music starts. Foley stands up to prevent Austin from getting to the ring, but Austin comes in through the crowd instead of down the ramp. He quickly administers Stunners to X-Pac and Al Snow, and then to the ref for good measure. Hee! I love the Stunner. I never get tired of it. Foley looks defeated. Austin calls for two beers, then walks up the ramp. When Foley tries to talk it to him, Austin just keeps walking. Michael Cole nearly has an apoplectic fit over Stone Cold "spitting in the face of authority."
Triple H and The Rock discuss their upcoming match. Their faces are so close that I think they're about to start making out! Ooh, it's so tense and homoerotic. I love it!
After like the tenth promo for Sunday Night Heat, Kurt Angle makes his way to the ring for the main event. We're reminded that Angle and Benoit, partners in this match, turned on each other earlier tonight. Benoit ambles down to the ring. We're reminded that Benoit headbutted Stephanie on RAW. Triple H, accompanied by his lovely bride, pours water over himself before walking down the ramp. As soon as Triple H gets into the ring, Benoit and Angle attack. Finally, The Rock makes it down to the ring as well, and the match officially begins. Benoit and Angle argue over who should start, and Benoit eventually tosses Angle into the ring to take on Triple H. After many near-falls, Benoit threatens Stephanie outside the ring, and Angle protects her. Triple H throws Benoit into the announcers' table. The Rock throws Angle into the announcers' table. It becomes a battle to see who can throw their opponents more fiercely, and it's actually pretty funny. Eventually, Rock gets Angle into the ring and makes to smack him with a chair, but Stephanie stops him first. Hey, isn't she supposed to be on her husband's side? Exactly. Rock is so stunned that he allows Angle to pin him for the win as Benoit and Triple H trade blows outside. Stephanie tries to look innocent as Angle celebrates the victory and the announcers wonder what's going on. What is going on? Tune in next week to find out.