It's the End of the World As We Know It
Lillian Garcia tries to interview Kurt Angle in the locker room. Kurt is too busy to answer at first, but then yells at Lillian for interrupting his "training." Oh, is that what that was? Kurt claims that he's not worried about the match.
It's time for Hell in the Cell remembrance number one. This PPV sure has a lot of filler. Triple H flips Cactus Jack through the top of the cage, down to the ring.
Next, William Regal will defend his European Championship belt against Hardcore Holly. Regal takes the mike and says that he knows the crowd will cheer for Hardcore, since he's an Alabama native. Regal proceeds to make some hick jokes, and gets booed. Once the match gets underway, Regal gets Holly into a "Bow and Arrow," a submission hold I've never seen before. Basically, Regal lies on his back with his knees to his chest, and holds Holly on his back across his knees, so that Holly's stomach is being stretched. It looks like the easiest submission hold to break, ever. You could just wiggle. I have an older brother. I know how to get out of submission holds. Here's a tip -- if you can't get out physically, say that you have to pee. Works every time. Oh, the match. Holly hits Regal in the head with the alleged steel plate in his arm. Just as Holly is about to go for the pin, Raven runs into the ring and DDTs Hardcore. Regal gets the pin and keeps the European Title.
We are reminded that Angle broke the shaky alliance between himself, Rikishi, and Triple H earlier this week. Kevin Kelley asks Rikishi if he is worried that Triple H will turn on him tonight. Rikishi doesn't care, and says that "whatever happens, happens." Rikishi is such a philosopher.
Chyna will be taking on Val Venis. We're reminded that Val knocked Chyna over the announcers' table one time. That's the entire build-up to this so-called feud. Whatever. JR informs us that Chyna told Billy Gunn not to interfere. Chyna comes out working the Princess Leia gold bikini look. Well, if Carrie Fisher were like a foot taller, about seventy pounds heavier, and had implants. Val Venis comes down, accompanied by Ivory. Chyna starts the match off quickly. Hey! I just noticed that Val is wearing black pants. When did that happen? I had not yet exhausted my repertoire of Good Humor Man jokes! Chyna gets pissed at Ivory and starts chasing her around outside the ring. Ivory crawls through the ring, which allows Val to get a Fisherman's Suplex on Chyna for the win. As the members of RTC leave, Chyna grabs Ivory by the hair and drags her back into the ring. Just as Chyna is about to power bomb Ivory, Val interrupts and does a power bomb of his own on Chyna. As Val and Ivory walk back up the ramp, Val puts his arm around Ivory. JR comments that Ivory belongs in Val's armpit. Ha! Ivory is making "menacing" faces, but really it just looks like she's reacting to the fact that Val forgot to apply his Speed Stick.