It's the End of the World As We Know It
As the cell is lowered from the ceiling, JR reminds us that the first man who scores a pinfall or submission in the ring will be the WWF Champion. The participants come out in this order: Triple H, Rikishi, Kurt Angle (who won't enter the cage), Undertaker (who has replaced his Kid Rock theme song with "Rollin'" by Limp Bizkit), The Rock, and Stone Cold. As the men enter the ring, there are about eight referees in there keeping them away from one another. Stone Cold gets things started by grabbing Angle and throwing him into the cell. Obviously, with six participants, there is a lot going on in this match, so I'm just going to hit on the highlights. For the first few minutes, just imagine every possible permutation of good guy and bad guy doing battle either in or out of the ring. Triple H is the first to blade...I mean, bleed. After they've used up all the good guy/bad buy combinations, they have Triple H and Rikishi take each other on in the ring. See, they had an informal alliance, so I guess it had to be established that it truly is every man for himself tonight. After that, we see about ten examples of one guy pinning another, and a third man breaking up the count. Suddenly, Vince and his stooges are standing in the back of a flatbed truck, which is backing down the entrance ramp towards the ring. The back of the truck is filled with wood chips (which you may remember me mentioning earlier during the Kane/Jericho match). Vince wants his stooges to use the truck to pull down the cell, thus ending the match. First, they pull off the door. The match continues in the ring. Mick Foley comes out, punches Brisco and Patterson, then calls security and has Vince dragged backstage. Vince yells, "I own this damn place."
Now that the cage has no door, the participants make their way up the entrance ramp. Much use is made of the junked cars surrounding the entrance ramp. Austin hits Triple H with a camera attached to a crane. Triple H retaliates by throwing Austin's head through a car window, and now Austin is bleeding, too. All of the men are out among the cars at this point. Triple H Pedigrees Rocky on top of a car and The Rock starts bleeding. Stone Cold does a slingshot move that launches Triple H onto a car hood. The wrestlers make their way back to the ring. Kurt Angle hits 'Taker with something that causes 'Taker to start bleeding too. Triple H starts climbing up to the top of the cell. Stone Cold grabs his trunks and...I saw his butt! I saw Triple H's butt! Yes, I am seven years old. Stone Cold and Triple H battle on top of the cell. Triple H gets very close to the edge, but doesn't go over. Kurt Angle climbs up to the top of the cell, followed by 'Taker. After Stone Cold and Triple H get down, Rikishi and The Rock start climbing up. I never thought Rikishi would get his fat ass on top of that thing, but he makes it.