Brandon Hassan, 16, sings "Trouble," and suffers by comparison to Vino Alan. But I'm not sure the judges have heard Vino yet at his point, so he gets four quick yeses. Then Normani Hamilton blows them away and goes through as well. Sister C, ages 17-21, do some three-part country harmonies and do better than most of the groups we've seen, even though they are so going to have to change that name. I don't care what their initials are. Then a pair of near-twins named Jeremiah and Josh, who make Britney go more googly-eyed than usual, sing an original song. "I wish you could wake me up in the morning," Britney tells them, not realizing that might possibly be misinterpreted, especially coming from Britney Spears. "What, you think like an alarm clock?" Simon mocks her before giving them a yes. As do L.A. And Britney. And maybe Demi, maybe not. The editors apparently don't care about what Demi Lovato thinks of Jeremiah and Josh.
After some more ads, we are informed that Austin is hot in the summer. Into this outdoor oven comes Panda Ross, 42, a large woman from Dallas. Backstage, she keeps hoping Simon will walk by, and seems to think she's going to make him fall in love with her. Hence the necklace she's wearing that reads "SINGLE." If she can sing as well as she can belly-laugh, she's got nothing to worry about, even though she just got out of the hospital with pneumonia yesterday. When she hits the stage, Simon seems sort of good-naturedly flummoxed by her, especially when she tells the story of how she got her name by being born in prison to a black mother with a white cellmate. We should probably be glad she grew up to be a wannabe singer instead of a supercriminal, then.
She belts out Sam Cooke's "Bring it On Home," and -- hey, is that Kaci from last week in the audience behind Simon? It totally is. I almost didn't recognize her without the stink-eye. Panda directs the second verse right to Simon, and it's pretty clear by the time she's done that she doesn't have much to worry about. L.A. loved it and says it was the perfect song choice. Demi and Britney agree, and Simon says she sounds like a legend. I thought that too, I just couldn't place which one. The votes are yeses across the board, of course. Panda dances happily off the stage at the same time the judges are leaving the table, so she gets a hug from Demi. But the rock-star moment is marred somewhat by Panda's growing respiratory distress and an increasingly desperate need to spit. Stuff "coming up," you know. She goes off in search of some EMTs, and the next thing we know, she's being strapped to a gurney and rolled into an ambulance with an oxygen mask on her face. Well, nobody can accuse her of not giving it her all. How many other people leave these auditions in an ambulance? Actually, don't answer that.