X Factor
X Factor

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | 529 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Simon Says

After the ads, we're back in Seattle for some reason, for a whole new round of auditions. Not sure what that's about, but Nicole is going to be taking Cheryl's chair back. Montage of the four judges getting ready before the auditions, including Paula pinching her arm in her giant bracelet. It goes around your wrist, Paula, you dingbat. The judges take their seats, and we see the "first act," two heavyset, overmade-up women in hats and sunglasses supposedly just getting off the bus. It's another mother-daughter team, and mom clearly does all the talking. And when the daughter does talk, it's to show off some Mandarin she learned for when they play in China. Getting ahead of herself a bit there, I think. They take the stage, and it's the Good Girls, who Paula remembers form somewhere. "You wrote a screenplay about Simon." Which Simon has totally forgotten, probably because so many people are always writing screenplays about him. Simon asks why they started a group, and when the mother tells her story about being an old hippie, Simon realizes, "So you're the mother." Simon Cowell: saying things out loud that nobody else says since 2002. In fact, mom is 70 and the daughter is 31. They expect to be "global superstars" and "household names" in ten years. Mom tells her, "Sing," and they attempt "What's Going On" by Marvin Gaye, a capella and so badly that Simon asks, "Was that serious?" They assure him that it is, and Simon says, "It was the worst group I've ever heard in my life." Nicole adds that she likes her music with "life," rather than whatever that was, and they're sent off with four nos and Daniel Powter's "Bad Day," which, what took so long? In the White Box, they seem to think the audience was on their side. Go on thinking that, ladies. Check back in ten years when you're global superstars.

X Factor

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