X Factor
Auditions #4

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M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
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Storming the Stage

Julia Bullock comes out, still unemployed according to the subtitle, and talks to the judges about her band. Only they're not a vocal group, so she's auditioning on her own. Demi asks her how the other members of her group feel about that and we cut to earlier in the parking lot, when Christian -- her bandmate and also her ex-boyfriend -- told her that today is effectively the end of the band. He's clearly still not over their breakup and the third member of their band is clearly wishing he were anywhere else, up to and including the store where Christian is going to go later to buy a murder weapon. Back to Julia's audition, where she lies that her bandmates are passionate enough about music to go on without her. Christian is backstage looking passionate enough to go out onstage and bludgeon her to death with a microphone stand if Simon doesn't stop making her poke that scab. She sings "Pumped Up Kicks" pretty well in fact, and the audience's reaction causes Christian to continue dying inside. Simon tells her she's one of his favorites, Britney likes her unique voice and L.A. says she's exactly what she's been looking for. Demi also likes her. All yeses for Julie, but of course this is all about Christian, looking increasingly murderous backstage. The camera even zooms in on his folded arms while everyone else in the entire building applauds. Time to move on, Christian, and find yourself a nice guy.

It's not just vocal auditions in Greensboro, but "flavor auditions" as well, as Pepsi's got a big booth set up for people to try out some new flavors of soda. The most interesting thing about this segment is that we learn that there is such a job as "Pepsi Ambassador." Learning the language must be a bitch, though.

We re-meet Krysten Colon (pronounced "Cologne," at least by her), the 21-year-old hairdresser who dreams of a job where she doesn't have to be on her feet 14 hours a day. Came to the right place then, didn't she? She shares her confidence with her mom backstage and goes out for her audition, suddenly coming over all nervous. And we know Simon likes her because he doesn't immediately grimace when she says she's going to be singing an Adele song. She goes into "Don't You Remember" and gets about one verse in before Simon calls a halt on behalf of all four visibly bored judges. She asks for another chance, and Simon says he wants her to come back... later. So that's neither a yes nor a no, for now.

Commercials. Lana Del Rey for H&M? Two things I try to avoid at all costs.

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