I think my favorite part of the preview montages is when they paste together clips of a bunch of singers just going "Aaah/aaaaaah/aaaaah/ohhhh/aaaaaah" because it reminds me of those old "Whassup?" ads? I find my fun where I can.
We're starting off in Charleston, with b-roll processed to look like old-fashioned movie footage, even though it obviously wasn't shot that way. Then an X Factor truck whisks the whole town into the present, supposedly. Thanks, X Factor! Now we're a lot more over the Civil War!
The auditions for tonight start with Andrew Scholz, a wholesome-looking 18-year-old jock from Summerville, SC who's dwarfed by his giant pickup. Out on the stage, Simon acts like Kelly's flirting with the kid before giving him the go-ahead. Between the Carolina accent and the plaid shirt, one would obviously expect him to do something country, but he's going with "Too Close" by Alex Clare. Which I think is just as well, because he doesn't have a country kind of voice, like, at all. Kelly thought it was a little karaoke, and while Demi acknowledges that the chicks dig him, he seemed a little awkward. Paulina agrees that he's cute but didn't get the song choice. Simon winds up and tells Andrew that… he disagrees with all of them. He thinks Andrew can be good enough with the right training, and that they'd be crazy to let him go right now, because they're going to have nothing but time to train people properly. Demi's not budging, so Simon offers to let Andrew try something else more old-school. Andrew goes with "A Little More You," a country song of the type that he probably should have done to start with. The female judges don't seem to mind him as much this time around, and Simon smirks at them like he's made his point, even though he still doesn't have the best voice. Demi says this song made more sense and Simon calls a vote based on it. Paulina and Kelly say yes and after a pause so does Demi, before Simon makes it unanimous, giving himself credit for saving Andrew and sending him on through. Good luck surviving boot camp, though. Looking like a young Dennis Quaid will only get you so far.
Back to New Orleans. Or onto New Orleans, I don't even know what preposition to use any more. The song "Blurred Lines" provides the soundtrack for us to meet the poor man's Robin Thicke, Blake Shankle, 19 and with a soft-serve wave of hair. He claims people ask for his autograph every day just because, and his goal is to be the most famous person in the entire world. Onstage, Kelly immediately notices how hot he is and Simon does that "Kelly" thing he does whenever he catches her flirting with one of these boys. Blake sings "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri and although he doesn't suck quite enough to have gotten through on novelty awfulness alone, it's clear he wouldn't be in front of the judges (let alone the camera) if he didn’t look like that. Demi thought the performance was a bit too theatrical, and Paulina agrees that his moves were overly studied and predictable. Simon doesn't think his style is right for the kind of soul R&B singer he claims to want to be, and calls a vote. Kelly is disenchanted enough to say no and so do the rest of them, Simon even cutting him off when he offers to rap. This is clearly not at all what Blake was expecting and we can tell because he tells us that he was not expecting that at all. At least there's still one way for him to become the most famous person in the world: start killing people.