The winning streak stays broken after the ads, with a squat 22-year-old guy growling "House of the Rising Sun" while Paula eats out of Simon's hand, just biding their time until they can shoot him down. Next we meet Clarissa Cheatham, a.k.a. "Cashmere," an office worker who is 27 but has the hair of a 47-year-old, so it's going to be tough to know which category to put her in. She goes out onstage and gets a pretty standard interview from the judges, until suddenly Simon gets the giggles for no apparent reason, which inevitably spreads to Paula. Simon gets Clarissa to talk about her experiences at karaoke, where people screamed and cheered for her. Then she tries to sing "Always Be My Baby," and before she even gets to the actual words, it's apparent she's awful. Which is not helping with Simon and Paula's giggles. Or those of the audience, for that matter. Paula puts a stop to it before the first chorus. Simon can't even keep a straight face as he says, "When you said that people [uncontrollable giggle] screamed [snort] after karaoke, I don't think that was a compliment [guffaws]." Nicole is the only one at the judges' table not laughing now. Poor Clarissa has to stand there and wait for them to get their shit together enough to all say no. Which, you know, eventually they do, but at least they had a good time with her.
More losers: Nouf Taraman, a 21-year-old walking cameltoe, trills weakly and protests when the audience boos her. Backstage, she defiantly tells the camera, "If you're looking for tears, you're not going to get it." Fair enough. What about the guy who comes out with a hula hoop? "When you're not singing or being annoying, what do you do?" Simon asks Jean Loup Wolfman [sic], 42. He's a life coach, so it sounds like he's never not being annoying. He monotones "Think," and in addition to his being completely tone-deaf, Simon observes, "For someone who does therapy, you're really uptight." Nos all around. A 58-year-old named Maya Lehmann does "We Are the Champions" as performed by the Bride of Frankenstein. Even Nicole's diplomacy fails her as she says, "It's hard, because I really like that song." Four nos, but that doesn't stop Maya from making more noise in the White Box.