X Factor
X Factor

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | 814 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Putting the "Camp" in "Boot Camp"

With that over, it's time to start cutting. The auditioners are brought out in three large groups, which is also totally unlike any other show because they do this on the stage instead of in a green room. But anyway, Paula draws out the suspense for a group that includes Stacy Francis, Brian Bradley and the burrito guy before telling them they're all through to the next round. If I were in this competition, I would be staying very close to Burrito Guy. Yes, he smells like burritos, and looks like he smells like burritos, but fortunately I like burritos. Now this group can go have their emotional reactions in the lobby. The next group includes Brendan O'Hara and a lot of people we've never seen before, so L.A. wastes little time saying, "I'm sorry but we're going to have to send you home." One pathetic kid begs for another chance. Simon says they have to get better, but then he gets up to meet him as he climbs down off the stage and try to buck him up a little. J. Mark, however, has a total meltdown, shrieking, "I don't have a life! I don't have a life!" But what about the math and philosophy in Europe? Don't tell me that was bullshit?

One last group is left, which includes Chris Rene and the Dexter Haygood the homeless Memphis guy, and they're all invited back tomorrow. Simon cues the entrance of the first group of yeses, who flood down the aisles for a big mega-mingle. Chris Rene is looking for his sister in that group, and Paula gets way too much pleasure out of watching him search. Lucky for Paula he finds her. Simon stands up and says one of these remaining people will be leaving the competition with five million dollars, and the judges are throwing them a party. It's ostensibly a cocktail-slash-hot-tub party, but I suspect it's actually a test to see who's responsible and goes to bed early, and who stays up late partying. For now, the latter seem to be a strong majority.

Sure enough, at six the next morning, crew members are banging on hotel room doors and giving them five minutes to get to the lobby. Once they've been driven from the hotel to the venue, L.A. tells then their next challenge begins now. They're going to be put into groups and given a few hours to prepare a song, but they'll have the help of some of the aforementioned industry people. Or "help," as the case may be.

So then the groups are formed (whether internally or top-down isn't made clear), and each group is given a song chosen by the judges. They'll have five hours to prep, and a third of the groups will be sent home. So, the first group includes blondes Drew Ryniewicz and Caitlin Koch, The Answer, Audrey Turner (I don't remember her), belter/grandmother Elaine Gibbs, some nerdy kid named Clayton Senne, and Dexter Haygood. Well, they should mesh well. Their song? "Creep," by Radiohead. Even better. J. Mark would have a meltdown all over again. Not everyone in the group has heard it, which is a little worrying.

X Factor

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