X Factor
Boot Camp #1

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M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
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Hustle in Florida

The second group includes Jessica Espinoza, the eminently punchable Rizzloe Jones, Jordyn Foley, Trevor Moran and the aforementioned cross-dresser queen, so clearly they're all toast. Once they're onstage, L.A. says it's a five-million-dollar decision and they're all going to have to go home. Because none of them is worth five million dollars -- not that he says that.

Third group: Jeff Gutt (the angry "Hallelujah" guy), CeCe Frey, Tate Stevens (the country-singing road maintenance guy), all 540 pounds of Freddie Combs, Willie Jones, Johnny Maxwell and others. Demi says this is more difficult than she thought and says, "You're through." Wait, does she mean "through" like "finished" or "through to the next round?" Judging by the happy reaction of the people in the stage, it must be the latter. "You made it through!" L.A. clarifies. The first group comes out to join them and exchange congratulations and begin forgetting about the people who are already gone. I'm actually way ahead of them on that one.

M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.

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